'Battlestar Galactica': A Cylon Smackdown

One of the things I love about this show is the way that it flips itself on its head to show you just how logical — or illogical — both sides of every argument are. Baltar is guilty of crimes against humanity. Or not. The Cylons are absolutely evil for annihilating humanity. Or did we deserve it? Starbuck is totally off her rocker to think anyone'll buy her ‘'I've got a ringing in my ear and it's leading me to Earth'' business. But that's pretty much all Roslin had to go on — drug-induced visions — when she asked the entire fleet to trust her. So why shouldn't Kara be angry, manic, even? Why doesn't she have every right to confront her accuser? (Of course, knocking out guards and holding the head of the government at gunpoint can't be considered a safe path towards building credibility.)

Since I liked the ‘'bulleted'' structure of the last TV Watch, I'm gonna stick to it. So, here we go.

CYLONS NEVER LEARN

Hey, we're back on the basestar (which always reminds me of a Sharper Image store) and the Cylons have realized that the final five are among the fleet. Some of them have, anyway. The Cavils (horny bastards, aren't they…first schtupping Ellen Tigh and now watching a Boomer dancing topless) are holding firm to the belief that not only are the Five nowhere near the Colonial fleet, but that Cylons are forbidden from even thinking about them. (There must be a fundamental flaw in their original programming that allows them to think of things they're programmed not to think about.) The Cavils also believe that the Cylon raiders — the pseudo-sentient fighter planes — should be lobotomized rather than be permitted to think for themselves. ''They're tools, not pets.” Apparently, the raiders decided on their own to call off the attack on the fleet, likely spurred by the scanning of Anders' eye, and they can't be permitted to continue disobeying orders at will.

(It shouldn't surprise anyone that the Cylons — who believe wholeheartedly in the cyclical idea that ''this has all happened before; and will all happen again” — had been treating members of their own race just as humanity had treated the Cylons. As slaves.)

None of this sat well with the Sixes, who took matters into their own hands and removed the doohickey that inhibited the Centurions from exercising their free will. And they proceeded to unload their free will right into the faces of the assembled Cavils, Dorals, and Simons. See, the Centurions didn't like what the skin jobs were doing to their metallic brethren, so they went all ED-209 on their asses.

Armed insurrection among the Cylons. Tres interesting. How much do you wanna bet that the Sixes' next move will be to ''unbox” the D'Annas and find out who the Final Five really are? Six, you are a naughty, naughty awesome girl.

NEXT: Adama, a mean drunk.

You Might Also Like

• Television News Eric Stoltz tapped for ''Battlestar'' prequel
• TV News Esai Morales boards ''Battlestar'' prequel