'Battlestar Galactica': A Cylon Smackdown

KARA: CRAZY/BEAUTIFUL

Let me just say, for the record, how glad I am that we've moved past the ''Look at me! I know where Earth is and you silly bastards won't listen” phase in our relationship with Kara Thrace. Because even just two episodes in, I was weary of whiny, mercurial Kara. Screaming then composed, crying then steely, pleading followed by cocksure: all without rhyme or reason. She was veering way too close to one-dimensional — which, for a character this historically strong, felt like a betrayal of everything she was about.

And the worst part of it all was that it looked like she was gonna pull Admiral Adama into that uni-dimensional world. For two episodes, his one speed was ''angry.” I'm sure we were supposed to read ''inner turmoil” from his pursed lips and harsh stare, but that wasn't apparent until Adama's intoxicated interlude with Roslin.

(Man, Adama is a mean, mean drunk. When he told Roslin that she was most afraid that her death would be as meaningless as everyone else's, you could see her retreat inside herself, trying to keep from revealing just how much that hurt.)

So Adama cut Starbuck loose. He's got three mistresses, really: the fleet, Roslin, and Kara. And he can only keep two of them close to the vest. So he gave her a ship and a crew — presumably Helo's part of that crew — and released her to follow her inner compass and find Earth.

BALTAR AND TORY, SITTING IN A TREE, F-R-A-K-K-I-N-G

At the behest of Tigh — who always seems to find himself leading some kind of underground movement, first the human resistance and now the Final Four as they search for the Fifth — Tory cozied up to Baltar, who Tigh thinks may know something about the Final Five. Spying him in the mess hall, Baltar dressed like Mr. Furley after a Member's Only sample sale, Tory sidled up and worked what passes for her ''magic.” Little did she know that Gaius was busy with his own playmate, himself. Seriously, Baltar has a Head Baltar? How perfect for such a raging narcissist. (And the dialogue between them was terrific: ''She is a sexy lady.”)

He couldn't be the fifth, right? He hung out on the basestar, hip deep in Cylons…they'd have noticed if he was a Cylon, wouldn't they? But he seemed to know so much about the music that activated Tory, Tigh, Anders, and Tyrol… and he never did give that Cylon test to himself, did he?

I'm not going to say anything about Tory crying while totally frakking Cylon-style, except to say that Baltar's reaction led me to believe that that wasn't the first time a woman has cried while having sex with him.

THE SON ALSO RISES

There are ceremonies for everything in this man's military. Heck, in any man's military. So it's no wonder that Lee Adama hanging up his wings was cause for some good old fashioned epic boozing. And what looked like strip poker. Stay classy, Galactica. But before he was gone for good — off to take Baltar's vacated seat as Caprica's representative on the Quorum of Twelve — Lee stopped by Kara's cell for a little heart-to-heart. And lip-to-lip.

As for that last rendering of honors on the flight deck…no, I didn't tear up at all. I swear.

So, that's it. Two down, 18 to go. A decent hour, which brought an end (hopefully) to the Crazy-Kara plot and gave us a wicked throwdown in Cylonville. And a fitting, emotional send-off for Apollo (who I guess we won't be able to call Apollo any longer).

What did you think? Is Roslin going to be able to find a cure for her cancer this time around? Are Athena and Hera going to travel to Earth with Helo and Starbuck? What'll happen when the Centurions realize that they don't have to listen to the Sixes either, that the robots with the guns for hands have the power?

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