'The Hills' Recap: Girls' Night Outrage

Speaking of Lauren, she had plenty more to say on the subject of Heidi and Spencer to Audrina the next morning. When Audrina was busy explaining to Lauren what went down, Lauren interjected, ''The thing is — and this is just me being me — it would not surprise me if Heidi or Spencer tried very, very hard to become friends with you because they really don't like the fact that I get along with Stephanie.'' While that statement may have some truth behind it, it was a very self-absorbed and unnecessary comment for her to make. We've always known Lauren's feelings about Spencer (and in case you didn't, her quip last night in regards to girls being all over him definitely confirmed them: ''He probably pays them. No girl would willingly touch that scum''). But since when did she become so astringent toward her own friends?

Maybe it's because she's now working for someone (a.k.a. Kelly Cutrone) with a similar disposition? And yes, I did say ''working,'' as in she now has a job alongside Whitney at People's Revolution. Okay, people, so we saw this one coming from a mile away, but the way in which it happened is just downright nonsensical. Whitney and Lauren (who, as you'll remember from last week, was asked to come ''help out'') started off the episode helping to organize last-minute details for the upcoming L.A. Fashion Week. Whitney offered the newbie some wisdom — ''It's so crazy to see how much goes into it, you know, you think that you just slap on the outfit and throw them out there and it's so not like that'' — while Lauren reveled in this magical new world. ''This is like a dream job, I'm so stoked for you,'' she gushed. ''It'd be so cool to work here with you.'' Let me remind you that Miss Conrad's ''dream job'' isn't so much a ''dream'' as it is a ''reality'': She did show her collection at the very same Fashion Week.

Eventually, it was time for the blond duo to put their knowledge to work backstage at the show for Whitley Kros (which, fun fact, is a label designed by actor Giovanni Ribisi's sister, Marissa, who is married to singer Beck). And thanks to Kelly's last-minute, priceless piece of advice — mostly involving shoving the models like a ''sheep-herding dog'' — the runway went off without a hitch. Then, what felt like seconds after the fashion show ended, Kelly congratulated the girls on a job well done. For Whitney it was ''You've gone up the ladder to, like, bitch-in-training.'' (''Oh God, my mom would be so proud,'' Whitney laughed in return, while the rest of us at home cringed.) For Lauren, it was ''You've gone from, like, slow-mo to, like, fashion glow.'' (Let's all bow our heads for a moment here just to thank our lucky stars that Kelly Cutrone didn't go into any field involving writing or rhyming.) Following the praise, Kelly miraculously offered Lauren a position on staff, further cementing the hopes of budding fashionistas everywhere that it really is that easy to break into the biz. First of all, who offers jobs directly following a big event like that when everyone is sweaty and high-strung? Second, isn't there such a thing as a ''résumé'' involved anywhere in here? Guess not when your name's Lauren Conrad.

Before I bid you fellow Hills watchers adieu, I want to pick your brain. Tell me: How hard did you laugh at the alarmed look on PR publicist Jessica's face after Kelly offered Lauren a gig at the company? How incredibly scripted did Heidi sound when she said, ''How can you love and hate someone so much at the same time''? Were you, gulp, siding with Spencer last night like I was? Finally, what are your thoughts on the return of Justin Bobby: Is he a welcome catalyst to a so far ho-hum season? Or is he a person you wish you could banish to Washed-Up Reality Star Island?

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