''Desperate Housewives'': Foul Ball

For Lynette and Tom, things were finally starting to fall into place. Tom's back had healed, Lynette's cancer was cured, and the pizzeria seemed to be booming. They've survived cancer and a natural catastrophe, so even though they eventually have to put five kids through college, it looked like smooth sailing for the golden couple. Except for one thing I've been waiting all season for the writers to address: Lynette's almost-but-not-quite infidelity. The Rick Thing. I thought it was awfully bold of Rick to waltz into Tom's restaurant with wine, but his announcement that he had opened a restaurant just down the street was an example of cocky defiance that would shock even the likes of Gaby. He wants to steal Tom's wife and Tom's customers — while I don't condone violence, I probably would have forgiven Tom if he had thrown a brick at Rick's face. Tom can be rash, he'll stop at nothing to keep his family together, and he is an amazing liar, but is he capable of arson? He looked both Lynette and the police officers dead in the eye and lied about vandalizing Rick's restaurant, so convincingly that it was almost creepy. Lynette accused Tom of overreacting, and sure, tearing down Rick's restaurant probably isn't the most rational reaction, but can you blame him? It's hard enough to forget the past when it's not two blocks away serving tastier pasta dishes and pining for your wife. While we were lead to believe that Tom threw Rick a little ''welcome to the neighborhood'' bonfire, I wasn't as convinced as Lynette that Tom was guilty. Of course, that raised the question of whodunit, and I had a few suspects. Three suspects, actually. All minors. An illegitimate child and a set of hyperactive twins. We all saw them listen to their parents arguing. It's just a theory. Susan's the neighborhood arsonist, so who knows? But if Rick's gets rebuilt, I thought maybe he should change the name of the joint. Maybe something subtle, something like An Affair to Remember.

Susan's also the neighborhood nudist, at least based on her season 1 streaker status. But last night she was showed up by Orson, whose bouts of indecent sleepwalking confirmed that he is a sick man. I'm normally not a fan of flashbacks, but I was happy to see that Orson's murder attempt had not been conveniently forgotten. (And, if we're sharing secrets, I also didn't mind watching Mike get run over again.) For weeks I've been wondering how Orson could possibly be living in the house of a man he tried to kill. But guilt can manifest itself in all sorts of ways. One minute you're sleeping soundly, the next you're leaving butt-cheek prints on the kitchen furniture. I thought Susan's reaction to Orson the exhibitionist was pretty funny: He's naked! In the kitchen! Where she eats! Gross! It was even funnier when Orson and Bree thought Susan was just having some dumb Ally McBeal-esque fantasy. (Which Orson thought was ''perfectly understandable,'' you know, because he's so handsome and dashing, whether he's nude or in argyle sweaters.) It was ironic that Orson unwittingly revealed his secret to Julie, who had just been criticizing Dylan for obsessing over secrets and being such a buzzkill. Looks like Julie and Dylan will both be doing some Nancy Drew-style sleuthing in the near future. And as for the mysterious man circling Dylan's face in the newspaper, well, Dylan might have cried murder too soon. Maybe she'll get to meet her father after all.

So, who do you suspect burned down Rick's restaurant? Does Rick still have a chance with Lynette? Who's the mysterious man targeting Dylan? And how long will Bree and Katherine remain friends?

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