'American Idol': Getting Our Irish Up

Speaking of things contestants should try to avoid in the future — aside from flubbing their lyrics at this late stage in the competition (Brooke!) and flagrantly yawning while under the scrutiny of a large viewing audience (Jason!) — how about not telling America that you have more fun role-playing than actually being yourself up on the Idol stage? Yes, I speak of Syesha!

Seriously, as much as it pained me to see Syesha land in the bottom two following her best performance of the season — and one of the best performances of Tuesday night's show — her onstage banter (and her neck-craning to follow the camera during the not-so-harmonious group rendition of ''All I Ask of You'') underlined why America is probably never going to warm up to her. Then again, at least she didn't hiss or make an obscene hand gesture when Paula declared, ''If you are sitting on that stool, you should be proud,'' at exactly the moment Syesha was plunked into the bottom two.

Not that it would really matter if Syesha suddenly pulled an Oprah and gave out new refrigerators to everyone in the Idol audience. It wouldn't take Sherlock Holmes to pick up the clue the show's producers dropped when they tabbed David Cook and David Archuleta as the first two contestants to hit the safety couches this week, thereby maximizing their side-by-side exposure. ''Look! One's young and adorable and causes sexually non-threatening heart palpitations! And the other one! He's a little dangerous and moody, and sports molten-hot stubble! Prepare to watch them duel for the right to release a dreadful first single plucked from the songwriting competition Ryan almost never mentions anymore!''

(Side note: Adam B. Vary and I listened to all 20 entries. Click here if you want to read the gory details.)

Brooke, meanwhile, scored a few points by stating she's making an effort to curb her ''habit of interrupting the judges.'' But seriously, I'm still stunned she didn't land in the bottom two, if not get eliminated, after hitting control-alt-delete during her Tuesday-night rendition of ''You Must Love Me.'' I mean, as much as I've enjoyed some of Brooke's performances, it's clear that her nerves are starting to get the best of her. At this point, wouldn't it be kinder for her fans to send her gently into that post-Idol media tour (and maybe a nice record deal with a midsize folk label) than to keep watching her tremble like a Chihuahua in a handbag in front of 29 million viewers?

Meanwhile, in other random results-night news: Clay Aiken's new 'do is a hot honeyed mess. It's great to see Tamyra Gray doing well on Broadway, but where the heck is the follow-up to her debut disc, The Dreamer? Leona Lewis was looking and sounding gorgeous, but how 'bout spending the pyrotechnic money on backing her with a real live band and singers instead of forcing her to perform over a tinny track? And do you think Danny Noriega cried ''ish!'' when the Ford ''music video'' was a rocked-out rendition of his exit track, ''Tainted Love''?

Speaking of booted contestants, catch part 2 of the Idolatry exit interview with Kristy Lee Cook (below), in which she talks about her song-choice strategy, then head to our very active message boards and discuss tonight's elimination and bottom two. Other topics: Was Simon's positive review of Carly (as he muttered off camera) ''probably the kiss of death'' for the Irish lass? What did you make of Jason's ''oh boy, oh boy, oh boy'' and peculiar humming while he awaited word of his fate from Ryan? And can you envision any scenario at this point that doesn't involve an all-David finale?

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