Sure enough, when he returned, all it took was a whisper in his ear to vote out James and not ask any questions (and really, when's the last time he did ask a question, other than, ''Who is more godlike: me or God?'') to get him to fall in line. Eric, birthday karma on his side, just beat out James for immunity in a suspenseful race, allowing the women to keep their plan in motion: dole out their votes between Jason and James, so if Jason did pull the idol, James would go.
(Side note on the overly intricate and yet very familiar Rube Goldbergian challenge: It's feeling like every challenge is just a grab-bag recombination of elements from any number of previous ones. Is the Survivor team creating new games by just reaching into a sack and pulling out three pieces of paper with different challenge staples on them and slapping them together for a ''new'' game? ''Tonight, it's....puzzle pieces...digging a key out of a hole...and crossing a rope ladder on planks! We done that combo yet? No? Okay, Survivors ready? Go!'')
After the challenge, James and Amanda seemed resigned to their fate. This is James' biggest downfall: He preaches ''sticking to the plan,'' but when the plan falls apart, he's incapable of coming up with a new one. Dude, when someone eats the apple, just get an orange! When Amanda was sighing that they were helpless, the best he could do was hope that Jason played the idol. Hope? James knew the plan! The ladies had gotten so hubristic that they'd searched Jason's bag for the idol right in front of James and Amanda, and talked about how their blindside was gonna go down. Why wouldn't James take that info to Jason? If he joined Eric, Amanda, and James, they could have gotten Parvati out and completely stunned the women. And Jason wouldn't have even needed to use his idol. That was the final twist I was hoping for, and thought was going to happen, considering how the producers were so excitedly setting us up with the female alliance. But you know James didn't even try to flip Jason, because if he had, the producers would have shown it: They always like to throw in something to show that Tribal Council might go either way.
So instead, we were treated to a Tribal Council in which still-angry juror Ozzy flipped the bird and mouthed ''Bitch'' at Parvati (wasn't he listening to Natalie? Jason was the bitch!), and a third-person epidemic swept the losing team: ''It don't look good for old James right now,'' said James, while Eric said, ''That's one more reason you don't need Eric around.'' (I was waiting for Natalie to stand and yell, ''NATALIE WILL EAT YOUR TONGUES FOR LUNCH AND SAVE YOUR HEARTS FOR DINNER!'')
James' inability to score a surprise coup would have been more enraging if it wasn't so damned fun to see Jason get so utterly duped. He didn't have a clue, which seems utterly unbelievable. I'll have to ask him about this on Monday's Survivor Talk...right after I complete my negotiations to sell him the Empire State Building.
What do you think? Were you just as surprised to see Natalie grow a personality? Would you let Erik lick your fingers for 40 bucks? Do you think Jason will have figured out what happened to him by the time he appears on Survivor Talk on Monday? Don't forget to check back then for our exclusive video with him. In the meantime, weigh in below.
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