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INDIANA JONES In Raiders of the Lost Ark
Everett Collection

JEFF JENSEN: Interesting: That's valuable info to ponder, even if this alien theory of yours doesn't add up.
DOC JENSEN:
Good point. Consider it pondered. Now, let's assume as correct the conventional wisdom that ''to summon protection'' is a reference to Smokey the Monster — i.e. ''the Island's security system,'' to quote the late, lamented Rousseau.

Okay.
Now, there's an Egyptian deity named Khonsu, or Khonshu, a lunar God, who functioned as a bloodthirsty avenging angel for pharaohs and protector to night travelers. Sounds kinda like Smokey, killing freighter mercs for King Ben and providing safe passage for the castaways as they escaped into the evening. Think of Smokey as the Island's superhero — like the Dark Knight himself, Batman, or better yet, Moon Knight, a Marvel superhero who gets his powers from — you guessed it — the lunar god Khonshu!

Okay, a couple things. First, I didn't guess, and would never have guessed that in a thousand years. Second, those connections could be pure coincidence. You can't honestly tell me that this ''Khonsu'' really has anything to do with Lost.
No? According to Wikipedia, Khonsu was also known to ''increase male virility'' (see: Jin's increased sperm count on the Island) and ''aid in healing'' (see: Locke, Rose, Patchy). He also was a deity of childbirth (see: Island fertility issues). Khonsu's father, by the way, was the sun god Amun, whose name means ''hidden.'' Bookmark this idea: We're coming back to it in a few weeks. From this word, we get ''cornu ammonis,'' which refers to a region of the brain that governs two faculties of extreme importance to Lost: long-term memory and spatial reasoning. In other words: time and space.

Doc, you're lapsing into crazy talk again. Give me something solid I can take back to my friends. Even if Lost is intentionally nodding to this Khonsu dude, how does it connect further to aliens?
Because of Indiana Jones.

WHAT?!
Khonsu — along with his parents — was the guardian deities of the Egyptian city of Tanis, a crucial location in Raiders of the Lost Ark. It's where Indy found the Well of Souls (not a bad way to think of the Island) and, later, the Ark of the Covenant itself, which contains the protective power of God, who in the Old Testament took the form of...a wandering dark cloud (think: Smokey). Tanis is also the site of a major ''necropolis,'' or Egyptian city of the dead. Now, remember those Egyptian hieroglyphics in the Hatch?

[Headshaking bewilderment]
They translated into ''underworld,'' which —

YOU'RE EVADING THE ISSUE HERE, WHICH IS ALIENS. THERE ARE NO ALIENS IN RAIDERS OF THE LOST ARK!
But there are supposed to be aliens in Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull, in theaters May 22. Or have you not read EW's recent article on the movie in the magazine's Summer Movie Preview? Apparently, the Indiana Jones franchise is about to make a big leap from mystical fantasy into alien-oriented sci-fi. Is Lost about to make the same leap? [Indeed, my editor, Mr. Joshua ''I just got engaged, woo-hoo!'' Rich, is so taken by this connection, he adds the following: ''Lost and Raiders of the Lost Ark do share an important word in their titles. In fact, what does 'Lost' mean in the Raiders title? The Ark wasn't really 'lost,' per se — it was hidden, tucked away, placed somewhere so that people couldn't find it, somewhere that required all sorts of supernatural trickery in order to get to. BY SOMEONE. FOR A REASON.]

Okay, you're just being silly here. I'll grant you, you've made some nifty connections between Smokey and this Khonsu fellow, but dragging Indiana Jones into your insanity via this flimsy connection to Tanis and the climactic scene of Raiders en route to proving your theory that extraterrestrials play a key role in the Island mythology of Lost is just plain poppycock!
Okay. But what about The X-Files?

What about it?
Surely you've noticed the enormous number of analogous elements between Lost and The X-Files, a TV show practically synonymous with aliens?

No, I haven't, but I'm sure you're going to tell me.
Yes, I am. Let's forget for a moment that the mythology of The X-Files also forged links between aliens and ancient civilizations, including glyph-happy cultures like the Mayans, Egyptians, and others —

NEXT PAGE: The Smokey/X-Files/E.T. connection