Munch on yak eyeballs, snuggle up inside a camel carcass...globe-trotting Bear Grylls does it all in the name of survival on Discovery Channel's Man vs. Wild. (New episodes start May 2 at 9 p.m., and his new wilderness-tips book of the same name is out now.) Let's see if this former British Special Forces soldier can badass his way out of some precarious situations in the real world.
Shopping for your girlfriend, you pick up the last pair of Jimmy Choos
at a half-off sale when you notice a gaggle of angry women stampeding
What you do with an elephant or a rhino they have very bad sight is wait until the last minute and then throw yourself out of the way to the side. Diversionary tactics could work. Hit the sprinkler alarm. That's gonna send them out of the shop.
You're at a Poison concert, and when the band starts to play ''Every Rose
Has Its Thorn,'' you realize that you forgot your lighter...
Take your sock off, tie it in a big knot so you can hold it underneath, and then just lean over to whoever else has got a lighter and you've got a torch that will flame for a good few minutes. [If you're] at an outdoor concert with lots of dry grass, borrow someone's glasses, magnify that nice strong sun, and you'll get a flame.
Another concert stumper: You bring your daughter to a Jonas Brothers
show, where suddenly you find yourself surrounded by 15,000 screaming
Girls hate spiders. If you want some space, drop a spider on the floor. That will clear you a nice little path to wherever you want to go. You could eat the spider at the end of it, so you get a snack as well. All-around perfect solution!
You've been trapped for hours in stalled traffic on L.A.'s 405 freeway...
Stay with your car. People get heatstroke and dehydrated when they stray. Start drinking radiator water. You can mix that well with pee. It tastes terrible, but it's going to keep you alive. You've got a battery to start a fire with a bit of foam from the seat. You've got gasoline.... There's not an awful lot to eat in your car. You can always eat each other. But you're probably better off eating the grasses on the side of the road.
You are the host of a popular wilderness adventure series, and the media
reports that you've occasionally been staying at crew base camp instead
of sleeping in a pile of leaves in the jungle...
Just get on with your job. Do your job well.... I don't believe the good when they make me out to be a superhero and I don't believe the bad when I'm the baddie.... Of course, the other option is just to pinpoint the ringleaders and make it swift, painless, and quiet.