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It was Edie's seductive glances that put an even bigger rift between Bree and Orson. While Bree was at home deciding what to do with a pewter cat, Edie, the neighborhood cougar, was making moves on the latest man to be ostracized on the block. Bree's speech to Orson about moral courage didn't sit well with me, and neither did her request that Orson turn himself in to the police. Not that Orson shouldn't turn himself in, and maybe share a cell with the entire Scavo family, but in the spirit of truth telling, shouldn't Andrew turn himself in for plowing down Old Lady Solis? Moral indignation carries a lot less weight when it's coming from a woman who abandoned her son on the side of the road, faked a pregnancy, poisoned an ex-lover, and sat around counting to ten Mississippi while her husband had a heart attack.

Regardless, Orson couldn't see the point in coming clean and, instead, got drunk, threw himself around Bree's waist, and asked if he could go to the police with a fabricated story about sleep driving. A hit and snooze. Besides, the apartment house sucked — the other divorced guys were starting a book club. Things were bleak. And who should drive up when Bree turned the poor sap down? Edie. On the prowl. Not so much a hit-and-run as it was a hit-on-your-neighbor's-husband and run-away-with-him. Sorry, I couldn't help myself.

Orson couldn't help himself either and, following the path of many men before him, fell right into Edie's arms. Edie's insinuations that Orson is gay were hilarious, as was her comment to Bree about possibly sleeping with him. ''That would be like having sex with PBS.'' Ha! Women of Wisteria, beware: Edie loves to pick at leftovers, but this time, it was purely to piss off Bree, who practically shoved Orson into Edie's convertible and then showed up at Edie's house crying slut. Will Orson ditch the wholesome Ken act and turn into a martini-mixing playboy after some coaxing from Edie? Only more couch time in Edie's den of deception and desperate love will tell. While Orson and Bree's marriage might make the perfect PBS documentary, it'll be interesting to see Orson change channels and try something a little edgier. HBO? Cinemax? Some X-rated On Demand?

Bree may have been too ladylike to actually call someone a slut, and instead skirted the word by giving a succinct recap of Edie's past sexcapades. Three exes? Shouldn't Bree and Katherine draft some kind of proposal to have Edie put under neighborhood watch? But Gaby was not above name calling last night. Gaby calls it like she sees it, even if she's sometimes as blind as her own husband. Her ''useless'' husband. Sometimes I wonder if those two love each other, or if they just love to hate each other. Either way, the more they seem to hate one each other, the more I love them. Add ''useless'' and ''tramp'' to their long list of terms of endearment.

NEXT: The missing gay couple returns


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