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Just a few minutes later, Apolo and Julianne's sophisticated slow dance to Rascal Flatts' ''Every Day'' made me even more nostalgic for some of the more exciting past seasons — and dancers — than I'd been during the judges' top-10 clip show. True, Apolo looked nowhere near as comfortable as his spring 2007 self, but it's been a while, and he has Actual Other Stuff going on in his life, so I think he did great. Julianne distracted from any possible Apolo-induced hesitation with hearty doses of her signature whip-like series of embellishing twirls and a bevy of pretty, pretty lifts. The really playful partnerships like ''Apolianne'' just aren't as abundant this season. I loved the end of Apolo and Julianne's dance, when they returned to their trademark ''lingering gaze,'' which you know gets everyone watching to practically chant out loud, ''Kiss! Kiss! Kiss!'' They didn't. But that's okay....
Because Mel B. and Maks totally did! The Spice Girl attacked that lovely, bearded face like a rabid woodpecker as M&M closed their samba/cha-cha medley with a reverse-gendered throwback to the Maks-on-top ending to their season 5 mambo. I'm a little disappointed that Maks opted for a sequined vest instead of fringe, but hey, at least he didn't wear a shirt, as I'd requested. M&M's bag of tricks was obviously the highlight of my night — nay, week! Maks must be so glad he consulted with me on the choreo. I have no choice but to assume that he put in those three consecutive walking splits specifically because I asked him to. Yes! This ranks up there with that time Josh Schwartz gave the Cohen family's bagel slicer its own scene in the O.C. series finale because I'd begged him over the phone to consider a more prominent story line for my favorite kitchen prop. Most people don't know this, but I actually control most of what happens on TV. (Except all that Idol crap, which I leave to Slezak.) I just happen to be very modest about this superpower. (Usually!)
Seeing Mario Lopez with the cast of A Chorus Line was cool, but I think I expected more. (Considering the title of the play, I'm really not sure why). Astute 30 Rock fans may have noticed DeBorah (Deidre Goodwin, who played the MILF Island champion) dancing right next to A.C. Slater. I'd rather have seen a minute or two more devoted to hearing from all of the returning celebs. Why ask them to get all dressed up (and likely doused with a requisite base layer of spray tan before entering the ballroom) and then barely feature them at all? Oh, well — at least we got a good dose of Joey Lawrence's best pouting. He definitely rivaled Karina for best b---- face of the night, but Karina clearly won as soon as she executed her first dramatic eye roll. Then again, I'm in the minority camp that thinks Karina's eye rolls pretty much rule. This season, at least, they've been warranted.
NEXT: Catching up with Lisa Rinna
