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Natalie: Hey, I've got an idea. It's crazy, but brilliant.
Erik: Okay, sure. You know, once at my ice cream shop, we combined our pistachio and bubble gum flavors to make pistachio gum. That was pretty crazy, too. Were you thinking something like that?
Natalie: Yeah, shut up. Here's my plan, and I think you'll really be into it.
Erik: I love it already.
Natalie: You give me a million dollars.
Erik: I'm listening...
Natalie: And — here's the best part — I kick you out of the game.
Erik: Hmmmm, so let me see if I have this right: I give you a million dollars and you kick me out of the game?
Natalie: Oh, and I also call, e-mail, and text message you every hour on the hour for the rest of your life telling you you're a complete moron.
Erik: I'm not sure. Would you be willing to punch me in the face as well?
Natalie: Let me check with Cirie on that. [Goes to find Cirie. Comes back five minutes later.] Okay, we're willing to punch you in the face if we can also kick you in the groin thee times.
Erik: Sold!

You know what? Maybe I'm being a little harsh on Erik. After all, man, did he play hardball by saying they should vote out Parvati instead of Amanda. Wow, the spine on that guy! Talk about calling the shots! Just to seal the deal, Cirie told Amanda that she and Parvati should bash Erik at Tribal Council (reinforcing the concept that he needed to redeem himself) while Natalie and Cirie stay quiet (reinforcing the belief that they were ready to vote with him). But Erik wouldn't fall for it, would he? I mean, the guy may be a bit naïve, but no one is that dumb, right? He wasn't actually about to commit the second biggest blunder at Tribal Council this season? (The first being Ozzy's huge-ass poncho. Seriously, what the hell was up with that thing? Did Pancho Villa storm the jury house or something?) The whole thing was like a horror movie in which you're yelling at the screen, ''The killer is right around the corner! He's about the shove an ice pick through your brain! Run away! Run away now!!!'' Only, the killers this time were the fearsome foursome of Cirie, Natalie, Parvati, and Amanda.

If Erik wondered whether he had made the wrong move after handing his ugly-ass necklace over to Natalie, it should have become immediately obvious with a simple look over at the jury. Ozzy rolled his eyes (you're one to talk, mister), James went into hysterics (ditto), and Eliza did what Eliza always does — opening her mouth so wide you could drive an SUV through it while her eyes exploded off of her face. At this point, producers wisely didn't even try to hide what was happening, showing us each of the votes and contestant comments, my favorite being Amanda not even knowing what to say, trailing off into disbelieving silence after, ''You know....'' This was the point in the horror movie where you're yelling at the screen, ''Oh no, the killer is stabbing the ice pick through your brain! But you don't even realize it yet! Trust me, it's going to really, really hurt! And you'll look really deformed if you survive! Which you won't because they are killing you right now as I yell at the screen! And I'm really sorry to tell you this, but I also can't stop laughing!''

NEXT PAGE: The ax falls and four remain. Plus, a special Survivor Talk video with Jeff Probst


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