Sound Bites

''I can't tell you how flattered I am that it takes the President's genitals to push me back 20 minutes...If it had been the President's a--, I would have been on first.'' —Jerry Seinfeld, after his appearance was delayed by an interview with Paula Jones' lawyers, on Larry King Live

''The First Lady is in Amsterdam and visited the house of Anne Frank, where she, just out of habit, shredded the diary.'' —Bill Mahar on Politically Incorrect

''The Kennedys are like the dinosaurs in The Lost World: They have big teeth...breed like crazy, and wherever they go, women are running and screaming.'' —Jay Leno on The Tonight Show

You Might Also Like

• Television News Talk show confessions | Ken Tucker
• The Q&A Bill Maher: Still aiming to displease | Gregory Kirschling
• All About Bill Maher
• Television News The hottest shows for August 2006