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Later on, Lauren and Lo cooked a crab dinner, which they had invited Audrina to come to, but she went out instead. The apparent dis added fuel to the fire, and eventually Lauren felt compelled to confront Audrina in her top-secret pool house. After bickering over whether or not Lauren had been ignoring Audrina because of Lo, Audrina mentioned it was nice of Lauren to have invited her to the seafood fiesta, but she had already had plans. ''I know I don't tell you everything all the time,'' Audrina said. ''You don't have to tell me everything,'' said Lauren, ''but you don't tell me anything anymore....I'm here all the time, you can walk in there.'' ''It's not about you, you know,'' replied Audrina. ''I just feel like Lo is the one pushing us apart.'' Then, after shedding an awfully real tear (or was that just my own interpretation?) and insisting that Lo has done nothing wrong, Lauren got up and walked back over to her house to the tune of Missy Higgins' soulful and symbolic track ''Where I Stood.'' (Those clever MTV producers — they just think of every which way to conk you over the head with a theme, don't they?) I'm guessing this melancholy ending is supposed to leave us wondering what will happen to the ALL house next season. (I might have to rename it the L-Squared house.) After all, during the after show, when Audrina was asked how her living situation was going, she said, ''Things are still unraveling....I don't want to give too much away.'' Oh, please, the next season doesn't air till August! I don't know whether to think it's sad or endearing that these girls actually still believe that their plotlines (a.k.a. their life, or, well, what we're supposed to believe is their life anyway) won't get leaked all over the Internet and celebrity weeklies long before the season premiere is even edited.

Speaking of leaked information, back in March, People reported that during a Vegas excursion, Heidi and Spencer stayed in different hotels. Oh, the horror! At the time it seemed this was simply a shameless attempt to get press for the new Palazzo Hotel, but now it's clear this leak was also intended establish Speidi's story line for this season. We were all supposed to believe that they were fighting, giving each other space, going on relationship vacation, or whatever the excuse of the week was, but alas, we were all (hopefully) smarter than that. So in order to not give them any more excessive publicity (I mean, can we discuss how they even exploited Mother's Day?), I'm going to limit my recap of their shenanigans in the finale to this: In Sin City, Heidi toted around a notepad and said ''okay'' about 600 times while touring the Palazzo with the SBE bigwigs; meanwhile Spencer, ignoring his sister's wise advice to ''think really hard before you do something stupid,'' had driven to Vegas and persuaded Stephanie to find out where Heidi was so he could stalk her. (Apparently Heidi had time to answer the phone during her ''important'' meeting but not to sneak away for two minutes.) He prevailed, and Heidi got mad and rattled off nonsense like ''It's only convenient for you. You break up with me when you want.'' Huh? Wasn't she the one who was over it? Then, with one last pathetic plea by Spencer (''Just come back to L.A. with me''), Heidi blew off the private jet (yeah, because holding up her bosses' plane wouldn't get her fired in real life) to head back to Cali in Spencer's car. And this is when the credits rolled.

NEXT: The season's top five moments


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