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The older kids, the 13-and-under couple Brandon and Brittany, completely blew the viewership's collective mind (it's about time!) with their incredible paso doble set to ''Phantom of the Opera.'' I'd take a B&B performance — even if it was that one, repeated — over the increasingly lame Macy's Stars of Dance segments, every Tuesday if I could. The end of that dance, with the extended final note and all the whirling and bending and about seven new tricks in two seconds, left the judges with mouths as wide open as Marky Mark's. Loved Brandon's ready-to-go quip about wanting to be paired with a Dallas Cowboy cheerleader.
Looking back, the overall impression I have of the kids' segments (which took up the majority of the hour — fine by me) is a visual one, as well as this stunning realization: All of these kids were dressed way better than their grownup counterparts. They all looked beautiful, nothing like the spangly hot messes we're so used to (and in my case, oddly affectionate toward) at this point. Funny that unlike one's typical fashion progression (make mistakes when you're young, grow up to be classy), the sartorial journey in the ballroom world is all downhill from age 8. Fear not, children: You may look great now, but you'll have to embody a just-lit sparkler soon enough in your careers. It's almost like a badge of honor.
What the fringe was up with that crazy final-four package that took place in a random, colorfully lit warehouse? We had Jason pounding against the chain-link doors of a dance dungeon, Cristián sporting some hot, fluffed-out hair while looking thirsty (does he always? whoa), and Marissa twirling/tottering around in a huge, dirty room with, surprisingly, no visible rats. (Ha, who am I kidding? It's totally obvious I'm just jealous and wish that I lived there. Did you see all that exposed brick and natural light?) But my favorite WTF moment had to be Kristi Yamaguchi writhing against some possibly fake graffiti as if posing for her glamour shots. Here's a visual, just because.
Okay, everyone, I'm off to take Marissa's advice and go do something that makes me feel sexy while shaking what my mama gave me. (Languidly shifting my weight while surveying the contents of my fridge had better count.) See you next week...liiiiiiiive!
What do you think? Can Kristi pick up some new votes from Marissa's fans? Who will rock next week's freestyle round? And which has been the best fake couple of the season: Derek and Shannon, Cristián and Jason, or Annie and Maks?
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