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Sam's verdicts were issued in his patented caveman grunt: Richard's ceviche-style mix ''just wasn't there,'' and Lisa's plate of banana nonsense was ''a hodgepodge.'' In the end, Spike won his very first quickfire with a ''sensual beef salad.'' (I would've given it to him for the name alone). No immunity was granted this time, but Spike was promised a ''significant advantage'' in the elimination challenge, which felt like a pretty lame substitute. And then it was time for...

...fhe elimination challenge: Padma and Sam introduced the game by bringing out trays of grease-covered fast food, which I can only assume were intended to look gross, although this writer found them pretty drool-worthy. Padma explained that this was the average lunch order for the hungry cops and cadets at the Chicago Police Academy, and that the contestants' mission was to create gourmet box lunches that would satisfy the cops' hunger with healthier alternatives. Specifically, the meals had to contain a whole grain, a lean protein, a fruit, and a veggie. Are you guys noticing a theme in this season's challenges? Haute tailgating cuisine, gourmet block-party grub, kid-friendly courses: It seems that almost every other episode has the chefs struggling to dumb down their food for the culinarily-challenged, and griping every step of the way as if it were an insult to have to feed normal people.

Anyway, Spike got his ''significant'' advantage in the form of a 10-minute head start at the grocery store (did anyone else have a Supermarket Sweep flashback?); he was also allowed to declare four of the foods he purchased to be off limits to the other contestants. He decided to make it tough for them by picking common foods: chicken, tomatoes, lettuce, and bread. It was all in the spirit of competition, but the move was interpreted by the other chefs as...you guessed it, sabotage. Stephanie had to rethink her plan to do chicken with smoked tomatoes, and Lisa's soup 'n' sandwich menu went out the window. But again, Andrew — who made a point of saying that he had studied nutrition for two years — was as unfazed as a Zen master. ''I think beyond what most people think of when it comes to food,'' he said. Huh? I really don't know what that means unless he thinks he invented a new kind of Dippin' Dots or something.

Back in the kitchen, tempers flared when the burner under Lisa's brown rice somehow ended up on high, which left the rice hard on the outside and undercooked on the inside. It nearly ruined the dish, and Lisa was instantly sure that it wasn't an accident or a mistake: It could only have been...sabotage. She threw a little hissy fit, but there was no time for a real argument. With only a few minutes left, the chefs started piling their food into little plastic boxes while scribbling microwave instructions on labels.

NEXT: Against the grain


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