'Top Chef': You Can't Police Everyone

Once the contestants arrived at the police academy with food, the hungry cops surveyed the goods before choosing one box each to munch on. The feedback from the cops was generally pretty good, ranging from ''very tender'' to ''better than McDonald's'' (what higher praise, really?). Unfortunately, the judges weren't quite as nice. Padma said that Spike's chicken salad with pita was ''pedestrian,'' while Andrew's fake-rice salmon roll was deemed ''very strange.'' Padma also noted that Andrew didn't use a whole grain in his dish. Duh duh duh.

Later, at Top Chef HQ, the judges brought the law down on the chefs' cop cuisine. Tom complimented Dale's use of bison and Stephanie's seasoning before declaring Dale the winner. (He got a big-ass bottle of wine and a free trip to Napa.) But things got really interesting when Andrew was summoned to the room in the bottom three along with Spike and Lisa. Padma started by questioning how ''substantial'' Andrew's dainty dish was, which prompted him to go off on another rant about how he had studied nutrition. (We get it!) At this point, Padma and Tom seemed genuinely ticked off by Andrew's refusal to accept their judgments as the word of God — which tripped Andrew's crazy switch, leading to this delicious little catfight:

Andrew: ''I want to show you guys what it is to eat healthy.''

Tom: ''How about serving something that's good?''

Andrew: ''Was it not good?''

Tom: ''It didn't taste good at all.''

Andrew: ''Really? That's funny. I had two people go back for it.''

Tom: ''They went back for it because it wasn't enough. They had to eat more.''

Who knew Tom had claws on those stubby little hands? And things only got worse when Lisa decided to rat out Andrew for not including a whole grain in his dish. (Sabotage?) In his defense, Andrew — dear, sweet, loopy Andrew — spent about 10 seconds pretending that it was a conscious decision before admitting that he had simply lost the rule list and forgot to include a grain. Lisa also made sure to mention her little rice-sabotage theory to the judges, although they didn't seem particularly sympathetic.

Andrew and Lisa spat a few final insults at each other in the Glad Bag dungeon while the judges deliberated, but the outcome seemed pretty preordained: Andrew was going home. Padma delivered the verdict with all the empathy of a hangman. Andrew's reaction was surprisingly tame. ''No security necessary,'' he joked before shaking hands and heading off to pack his knives.

Your turn, TV Watchers. Did the judges make the right call? Was someone really trying to sabotage Lisa? Was Spike playing fair when he picked his ingredients? And should Richard be eliminated just for wearing headbands?

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