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It took Tom entirely too long to acknowledge that his daughter's heart is not full of sweetness and light. What was Tom's thought process? Lynette, your word holds no weight unless you're in prison? Do some jail time, then I'll quit dragging my feet and call Kayla's bluff? Who did he learn that one from? Bree? If the Scavos don't work on their trust issues, if they continue resorting to commands instead of communication, they won't last. Err...won't last longer than five and a half years? Damn that flash-forward for turning my predictions into empty threats.

It was the gay neighbors' petty argument over ice sculptures (cherub vs. enchanted castle with vodka moat), that made Tom realize that in all marriages sometimes ''crap hits the fan.'' Cancer, tornadoes, roof diving, and curling-iron burns aside, at some point, ''you have to ask is that person in bed next to you worth it.'' Tom came around just in time, finally standing up for his wife instead of moping about the loss of Kayla. By the way, Kayla means ''pure.'' Yeah, pure crap.

Katherine's name also stands for purity, but unlike the diabolical Kayla, Katherine has been lying to protect her family, not to cut her family to shreds from the inside like a hollow-point bullet. (Fact courtesy of Bree's Guide to Gunning Down Your Ex.) Thanks to some flashback action (production opted for a darker camera lens instead of some Lost time-swoosh sound effects), we discovered that Katherine had been to the police to report her husband before, only to get stonewalled. Turns out the men in blue love good ol' Deputy Davis. A great man, and a hell of a golfer! What are the murder rates like in Eagle State? I used to blame the citizens. I now blame the authorities.

It's safe to say that after months of speculation, no one could have predicted that the real Dylan tragically died because, well, the kid really, really loved dolls. The shot of Dylan trapped under the bookcase was particularly gruesome, even more cringe-worthy than Adam's beyond busted face. As many of you suspected, it was the real Dylan who was buried in the woods. But I still don't understand Katherine's logic behind adopting Dylan 2.0 from a Romanian orphanage. Wouldn't it have been much easier for Katherine to stay on the run without a child in tow? If Wayne found and confronted her, couldn't she have lied and told him that she gave Dylan up for adoption, so he'd never be able to track her down? Sure, the Romanian orphanage looked a little dank, but bringing an innocent child into the mess didn't seem like the best answer. So, for me, was the resolution of the Mayfair mystery all it was built up to be? No. But the showdown between Wayne and Katherine? That was well worth the wait.

NEXT: How to kill your ex


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