And then the competition really began as DeAnna went inside the mansion to mingle. Sean, the martial-arts master with the '80s hair (like Patrick Swayze in Roadhouse), quickly declared she's the ''perfect wife for me'' and later tried to show he meant business by kicking a lemon off of snowboarder Jesse's head. (Jesse threatened to kick him in the nuts five times if he missed, but Sean didn't and made a big enough impact on DeAnna to get a rose.) Chef Robert whipped up a Dungeness crab cocktail (to the envy of his less talented bros, to whom he succinctly responded, ''Don't hate. Congratulate.'' No wonder he got a rose.) Luke, the sweet oyster farmer from Folly Beach, S.C., gave DeAnna a pearl necklace (but perhaps his fate was sealed when she asked him to say something funny and all the poor love-struck guy could come up with was ''You look great.'' No rose.). Chicago Fred deserved a rose for his accent and bear hug alone; he went on to confess to DeAnna that he's never cheated on anyone, so he'll definitely be sticking around. On the other hand, so will Texan Chris, who bravely came clean and admitted he had cheated before. Brian, the 28-year-old football-playing virgin, wasn't much of a gentleman when he hogged the blanket outside, but he nevertheless scored a rose. Twilley, a debt manager from Oklahoma who politelyl offered a handshake to the bachelorette but got a hug in return, showed off a Footloose side and signs of being the next Bob Guiney-esque cutup. Nerd science teacher Richard, who DeAnna described as ''shy,'' ''sweet,'' and ''genuine,'' seemed very much like the Ryan who ultimately won bachelorette Trista's heart. (Despite their awkwardness, the last two fellas both made DeAnna's cut.) Paul, the Canadian who dove into the pool and came out to reveal black bikini briefs with ''DeAnna'' across the booty (and got a rose for his daring), showed a desperation heretofore unseen in any Bachelorette episode.
A rose is a rose, except when you don't get one, and 10 men went away empty-handed, including Donato, a South Carolina sales rep who blew it by asking DeAnna's fellow Brad rejectee Jenni, who had come in to help DeAnna separate the wheat from the chaff, to sit in his lap. Chandler, an insurance rep from Spotsylvania, Va., learned the hard way that women are not waterfowl and will not fly to just any man with a duck call. And then there was Greg, a personal trainer from New York who had many different layers: ''compassionate,'' ''poetic,'' and ''wild boy,'' which was the side of him that apparently doesn't like clothing. After being let go by DeAnna, he went outside, ripped off his shirt, and started howling. Man, he would have made for some riveting drama if only DeAnna had kept him around.
So much to discuss, dear TV Watchers! I think DeAnna made some pretty solid choices, but I was genuinely sad to see oyster picker Luke depart, as well as math teacher Jeffrey and mop-topped Patrick C. I got a strong vibe out of real estate attorney Jeremy, who got the first first-impression rose. Will he come on strong and then fade like Amanda on The Bachelor: London Calling? Will geek Richard's admitted low self-esteem take him out of the running early on? It's clear from the coming attractions there will be plenty of tears this season (and not the crocodile ones shed by Chandler in his final moments). Do you think DeAnna will end up with her fairy-tale ending? Do you care?
