Hits
·The mere thought of John McCain walking Ellen down the aisle
·Amy Winehouse + hygiene = Duffy
·Add this to your summer playlist ASAP: Mariah's ''Touch My Body (Seamus Haji and Paul Emanuel Club Remix)''
Near Misses
·The sad realization that all of Bullseye's friends are listening to
Danity Kane
·Sasquatch music fest features great sets from R.E.M. and Death Cab...and not a single celebutard in sight
·Counterevidence to Darwin's theory of evolution: Nana Lohan begat Mama Lohan
Misses
·Viewers pummel American Gladiators, sending show to record low ratings.
·Matthew's brother Rooster McConaughey gets reality show, does disservice to cocks everywhere.
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