Superheroes: How They Ruined Summer Movies

Depending on your tolerance for coughing up 10 bucks to witness movie stars in snug spandex, this summer is shaping up to be either Nerdvana or a slog akin to the Bataan Death March. Personally, I think it looks like the bleakest summer ever. It's certainly a close runner-up to the annus horribilis of 2006, when the Man of Steel was rebooted in Superman Returns, starring a young, rising talent named Brandon Routh. (How'd that work out, by the way?) This year we've already been bludgeoned with Iron Man, a movie that actually asks the audience to root for a smug billionaire arms mogul. And hot on its tail are The Dark Knight (Christopher Nolan is supertalented, but this is the sixth Batman movie in the past 20 years), Hellboy II (a sequel to a movie that grossed approximately $17), and, of course, The Incredible Hulk.

It's this last one that really burns my cheese. Five years ago, Universal spent $137 million on Ang Lee's Hulk movie and it grossed $132 million. If I were a bean counter at Universal, I wouldn't be bullish on that math. Not to mention that the first time around they had an Oscar nominee behind the camera; now they've got...the guy who directed The Transporter. Am I missing something? No one wanted to see the Hulk the first time around. And I'll play Jimmy the Greek here and predict that no one will want to see this one, either, regardless of how much capital-A acting Edward Norton brings to it.

If I seem angry, it's only because I've been burned so many times by these things. I've sat through The Shadow, Judge Dredd, and Catwoman. I've even been trapped in coach with Elektra as the in-flight movie. After Iron Man opened to $102 million, Marvel announced a laundry list of new movies it is developing. In addition to the obvious Iron Man 2, there was Thor, Captain America, The Avengers, and Ant-Man. That's right, a tentpole flick about a superhero who communicates with insects.

To help make sense of this madness, we called comics legend Stan Lee, the co-creator of Spider-Man and the Hulk and a true storytelling genius — even if some of the movies made in his name have been less artful. We wanted to know if, in fact, all of these movies were exactly the same. ''Well, I don't know,'' he said. ''Spider-Man is different in many ways than The Hulk or Iron Man. And the X-Men are a totally different mood.'' Really? Did he see the one Brett Ratner directed?

NEXT PAGE: One comic-book movie Chris Nashawaty can't wait to see.