So as the cobra and the mongoose trotted off to the Green Giant Hidden Valley Ranch and Gaming Parlor for some platitudes courtesy of ''Chef Rock'' (still alive!), the rest of the cheflings stayed home to deal with deliveries. Back and forth they ran, shuttling herbs and ice and Sysco products. (Hmm. I spent a couple summers working in an industrial kitchen, and our Sysco man happily brought the stuff in himself....) Christina smartly delegated, but Matt was having none of it. Whining, moaning, every third word needing a bleep, he did not take well to the pithy little culinary-school student's leadership. ''He's crazy, man,'' said Petrozza. ''F--- all you guys,'' said Matt. ''He's like Full Metal Jacket,'' said General Bobby, though with his black and white jacket and silly black headband, I thought Matt looked a bit more Kung Fu Panda. His later comments on Christina's alleged cellulite notwithstanding, he certainly has the figure for it.
Whee! The pandamonium didn't stop, not even once Corey and BBJ returned from Vegas. Christina explained that Sam the Eagle had gone crazy, and to demonstrate ''crazy,'' Matt slapped himself in the head a couple times. ''That boy snapped,'' Christina said. ''Something inside of him broke. And I don't think it's gonna be fixed before dinner service.'' Matt, of course, in the defense that has served crazy people well for thousands of years, insisted he was just ''blowing off steam.'' Yeah, so was Ted Bundy, dear. But hey, you can threaten Christina all you want — doesn't change the fact that the two of you are on the meat station together come dinnertime. (''Now I have to watch this guy who's like twice my age f--- meat up all night,'' moaned Christina.)
Just when you think service in Hell's Kitchen can't get worse, it does. A short but by no means complete list of the sins committed this evening: Matt set a pan on fire. Petrozza got the plates filthy. Jen oversalted the risotto. Matt lost his ability to comprehend English. Corey cried about the garnish. Christina cooked chicken and beef in the same pan. Bobby cooked salmon and scallops in the same pan. BBJ possibly lied about how long it took to cook her rib eye, and it came back from the dining room raw. Corey set herself on fire and refused to go see the medic. Matt ate half the food in the kitchen. Bobby stayed consistent, if by ''consistent'' you mean ''blockheaded and cocky.''
Then Matt got a migraine, and once he started muttering ''send me home'' and ''I'm sick of getting yelled at,'' Ramsey'd had enough. ''You guys are a f---ing bunch of losers,'' he said, to no one in particular, then took Matt by his (reportedly numb) hand and dragged him upstairs. ''Get out!'' he yelled. Then Christina noticed a pot of rice Jen had left burning over on the meat station, and Ramsay kicked Jen out of the kitchen for burning rice (''Get out!'') and Christina out of the kitchen for not noticing the burning rice. (''Get out!'') And then... ''Get out!'' he yelled at everyone, which, along with ''It's raw!'' appears to have replaced ''Shut-tit down!'' and ''You donkey!'' in this season's lexicon.
NEXT: Christina stands up to Ramsay
