Sound Bites

Sound Bites

TV's funniest lines from June 13 to 19

''Kmart has started selling sweatpants that promote chastity that have the words 'True Love Waits' written on them. The real reason they work is because no one wants to have sex with anyone who wears sweatpants from Kmart.''
—Conan O'Brien on Late Night

''You're so nice and carefree and beach-babe beautiful. I feel like I'm in a tampon commercial.''
—Cappie (Scott Michael Foster) to Casey (Spencer Grammer) on Greek

''For the love of God, please tell me they managed to save Viva Laughlin!''
—Joel McHale, fearful of the damage to the video library in the Universal fire, on The Soup

''I'm pretty upset with the commercials on television these days.... Have you seen the M&M's candy commercial where the M&M's are hanging out with that guy, they're partying it up, laughing, having a great time? So I go down to the store, buy a bag of M&M's, open up the bag, and they're all dead. And their arms and legs are missing.''
—Comedian Winston Spear on Last Comic Standing

Originally posted Jun 13, 2008 Published in issue #998 Jun 20, 2008 Order article reprints
Advertisement

From Our Partners