'Big Brother': The Brian Drain

The aftershocks of Brian's puppet show were felt all over the house. In a spat I didn't quite understand, Keesha and April nearly came to blows over Keesha's hypothetical (but untrue) flip to Brian's side. There was a lot of shouting, and it all led to April crying, yet again. (And speaking of April, am I crazy or did I hear her tell Ollie that she was so shy she changed in her closet? Isn't this the woman who let everyone feel her boobs in the first episode? How many people does she keep in her closet?) Renny came in to comfort her, delivering the most awkward hug I've ever seen. She came at April with an arm that looked like a bear trying to swat down a honey pot.

All drama seemed to be forgotten when everyone cast his or her vote. One note on that: Why are they having live votes when there are this many people left? I felt as if I were sitting there for days watching the parade of voters, as Julie recited everybody's individual past grudges and biases. Granted, it's a far more accurate election system than we have for presidents, but still, let's pick up the pace.

Brian's sock-puppet skills could only take him so far: He was out 9-1, with only Dan giving him a pity vote. I guess Steven must have suddenly remembered that, come to think of it, Phil the Calf Roper actually can tell a mean knock-knock joke. Sorry, Brian, turns out you're not all that!

And then it was time for the new head-of-household challenge — though a quick note on the earlier veto competition: I actually enjoyed this, even if it made me physically queasy. I'm not sure if I was traumatized by a now-suppressed syrup incident as a young child, but I have always had a severe dislike of sticky things. The other thing that came to mind is that if a bee happened by during this competition, he would have been pissed. How would you feel if your boss called you into the conference room, where all the paperwork you'd done for the past year was spread out on the carpet for Renny to roll around in?)

The HOH challenge involved a series of hypothetical questions comparing two people in the house, and whoever voted in the minority had to sit down. Some of the questions seemed pretty obvious: Who would people trust more as a fashion consultant, Renny or April? Am I the only one who noticed that Renny's entire outfit was made out of macramé? You don't see a lot of looms on Project Runway. Then there was this one: Whose life story would be more interesting to read in 50 years, Memphis' or Dan's? It was unanimous for Memphis, although I for one would look forward to reading Dan's memoir, Sure I'm Lonely and Broke, but at Least I Have My Loyalty and My Hatred of Liberals: The Dan Story.

Ultimately, Jessie won HOH, and I expect to see many people hiking up to his room to petition him on Sunday's episode — so many people to roll his eyes at, so many references to not comprehend! He'll probably go after Renny, but I hope he doesn't target Jerry for revenge. Jerry's at a big disadvantage if he's got to scheme for his survival: Every time he tells a lie, he's got to take his Marines hat off. It's like the most obvious poker tell ever.

What did you think? Post below!