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Weeds''What the f---?'' is right! We left off last time with this simple rhetorical question, posed by a dumbfounded Nancy upon discovering a crater-size hole in her storage room. And 24 minutes after the start of episode 6 of season 4 of Weeds, we still don't have many answers. But we know one thing to be true: Maternity-store duties aside, Nancy Botwin is in waaaay over her head on this venture.
So how do you ignore an underground railroad being dug beneath your feet? If you're Nancy Botwin, unknowing (not that it would make much of a difference to a judge) accessory to international crime, you don't. It only took about 12 seconds for her to stop pacing and climb down into the forbidden tunnel. Through a dusty, chiseled path she wandered, then opened a door into a dingy bathroom, where she discovered Maternity World shopping bags stuffed with pounds upon pounds of pot. Seemingly relieved that it wasn't something harder (or alive), she continued, unable to satisfy her curiosity with this sneak peek. But what she found at the end of her little journey was far from welcoming.
Meet the Mexican drug lord — a man of few words — who was not at all amused by Nancy's presence. Fortunately, Guillermo's partner Cesar also happened to be in the room and was able to vouch for her. ''It's not like I haven't been to the garage before; I just came in the back way this time,'' she said while they made a swift exit. ''Okay, I think we're in America now. I have rights.''
Naturally, these thugs care little about Nancy's rights. With a smuggling plan that's obviously been in the works for many months, the last thing they need is a nosy suburban novice screwing up their scheme. ''I think it would be wise for you to re-imagine the events of this evening,'' Cesar told her. ''You saw nothing.'' Nancy's reply: ''You mean no one.'' That's right.
Back at the homestead, the Botwin boys were prepping for a yard sale to cash in on Bubbie's few remaining worldly possessions — snow globes for a buck, pipes (the tobacco kind) for four, and murdered-dog collars for five — that is, if Shane could keep scavengers like Doug, Andy, and Celia from getting their grubby little hands on them. As for the dark one himself, he only laid claim to a cigar box, which he would save to carry his future ashes. Of course, Andy, ever the would-be rabbi, had to point out that ''Jews can't get cremated,'' to which Shane replied, ''Technically, I'm not Jewish.'' Andy's retort: ''You are in the Reform movement, and those are all the cool Jews.'' I would like to take issue with that, since I came up on the Conservative track, but he's right — as usual.
Meanwhile, Maternity World continued to operate with Celia and Nancy at the helm. I'm guessing Jenji and crew won't introduce a subplot about Celia's binge eating, so we'll just chalk up those extra pounds and flouncy shirts to bad angles. But back to the storage room: Celia and Nancy started their morning by meeting Señor Ignacio, who's been put on full-time hole-guarding duty. ''What's in the hole?'' Celia asked with childlike wonder. ''Mexico,'' Nancy answered. ''You must never go there...through the hole....You can drive to Mexico whenever you want...just don't drink the water....Stay away from the hole!'' A hilarious exchange, but also a telling one: Nancy's got the hots for the drug lord. The latest in her never-ending string of bad boys? Kind of makes you wonder if Judah had a dark — or maybe dirty — side.
NEXT: Andy's criminal plans
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