'Weeds': The Hole Truth

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When all was said and done, the sale yielded more than $8,000, almost enough for one month's rent, but plenty to make Doug and Andy feel proud for doing their part. They celebrated on the beach, with beers in hand, only to spot a group of illegals crawling to shore. ''Check out sexy,'' Doug remarked upon spotting one girl making her way out of the water. ''She swam in her clothes, she's a wild hippie....Think she shaves her pits?'' While he didn't have much time to gawk, since border guards descended on the group in due haste, a dopey Doug did manage to get off a few words (''You are like a mermaid — a Mexican mermaid, a mermex''), snap a cell-phone photo, and learn her name (Maria), all before she got handcuffed face down on the sand. Ever the opportunist, Andy seized the moment and told Doug that they could bring her back if they were coyotes. Doesn't take much more convincing than that to lasso Doug in.

Back at the house, Silas — shirtless, yet again — was greeted by Lisa for the second time that day. Oh, sure, she had a reason for knocking, but it wasn't the garage-sale item she was looking for. An astute Silas quickly figured out what was really going on and offered to go on a walk. How far did they go? I'm guessing all the way. From MILF weed to full-on MILF action. Silas is having a good summer.

On another parental front, Celia showed up at Dean's door ready to take Isabelle back. ''I could use the company,'' she said to her protesting husband. ''I really need a mom right now,'' said Isabelle, ''and Celia said she'd try and find me one.'' Sure, Celia was Satan, but it's the devil she knows.

Also getting to know hell intimately, a disheveled Nancy finally got to see daylight again when Mr. Tall, (very) Dark, and Handsome removed the bag from her head and proceeded to rattle off her biographical information without a stutter. ''You should not have gone through the tunnel; that was a mistake,'' he told her with a suave Latin snarl. ''You should not be asking questions about me.'' What was in store for Nance? A punishment, perhaps in the form of a ''good, hard spanking.'' Somewhere between paralyzing fear and horniness, Nancy didn't object, but she was saved once again by Cesar, who interrupted the interrogation with an important matter. Nancy's Spanish might still be shaky, but she thought she knew enough to spot the word kill. Still, she was allowed to head back home through the tunnel just this one time. And when she reached the other side, a revelation: the man in the suit was the same guy pictured on posters all over TJ: Mayor Esteban Reyes. How the plot thickens....

So we're left with some danglers (Captain Till, Maria the Mexican Mermaid, Marzipan) and a host of new characters and hookups halfway through the season. What's got you buzzing?