Ask and you shall receive. Here I was wondering where all the sex had gone, when — bam! — Weeds delivered a mother lode. Let me think: Whose bare ass didn't we see on this densely packed episode? Celia's, due to unforeseen circumstances. Shane's and Isabelle's (whew!). Guillermo's. Doesn't leave too many buns unturned. But what this halfway marker did provide was some movement. Things are happening. New businesses are being launched. Cross-border relationships are evolving. It's all so dark and twisted, just the way we like it.
We began with an appropriately grim scene: the frat house that Nancy calls home. It may be a temporary shelter, but being outnumbered by four men with only one bathroom between them brought forth an agitated and antsy Nancy first thing in the morning. ''You need to move out of my house,'' was her greeting to Doug, who was crashed out on a couch. Rent or no rent, the last thing Nancy wanted to entertain was an offer of sex from a guy who referred to his unit as ''my Jeremy Piven'' and found her red bra hanging in the shower ''totally hot.''
It doesn't need to be said, but let's presume away: There's a lot of masturbating going on in this house. As Andy declared proudly, ''It's a family tradition.'' But between Shane's hormonal episodes, Nancy's loneliness, and Doug, er, just being Doug, one thing's for sure: They desperately need a new bathroom. So over eggs served in coffee mugs, Nancy made the call. Shane would head up the renovation, seeing as he's cheap and doesn't ask questions. That is, except one: ''Why are you Googling the mayor of Tijuana?''
A quick accounting of Nancy's finances: She's collected at least 10 grand running jobs for Guillermo, and last week's yard sale yielded another $8,000. She also has her salary at the maternity store. But with Len demanding $10,000 per month for the house, that doesn't leave all that much wiggle room. And even a minor construction project like a second bathroom can easily cost upwards of $15,000, so she'll have to scrounge up some cash.
First stop: Nancy's Agrestic customer base, starting with Sanjay (yay!). What's he been up to? Sanjay and Clinique have a gigantic baby and an odd relationship, but they're both more than willing to get back into the game. How much of the valley could he cover? ''A hundred pounds would be gone in a week,'' he said. ''You left a vacuum, Nancy. People are sad, things are burned, they need their weed.''
Nancy continued on to her former housekeeper, Lupita, who encouraged her to add cocaine and ecstacy to the drug menu, and then to former U-Turn homey Marvin, 10 pounds lighter and now operating in the Oakland area (a side note: Fatso-Fasano, the guy who plays Marvin, was on my flight from New York a few months back — sitting in coach!) but still harboring vivid memories of Guillermo driving him to tears. ''You don't have to worry about Guillermo,'' she told him.
NEXT: Celia's drug deal
