'Secret Diary of a Call Girl': Amateur Night

'Secret Diary of a Call Girl' recap: Ben joins in

''Sex, like life, is often about the numbers. With two people, the agenda is clear: One gives, one receives. But add a third and fourth — that's when things get complicated.''

There's some truth to that old adage ''You never know until you try.'' Especially when it comes to being a prostitute. ''Don't knock it till you try it'' also comes to mind. Mostly because now that Ben has hooked himself — he joined Hannah on a group job with a married couple — he can tell his friend what he really thinks about her work without her whining and telling him he doesn't get it.

Oh, he gets it. And I'm not sure he likes it too much. First, there's the waxing. The shaving. The Viagra. The copious amounts of hand cream. Then there's finding out your best bud makes over 70,000 pounds a year more than you. And the mid-job change of underwear. The massive numbers of condoms you need on hand (one for your finger, one for your John Thomas, one for the toys, one for your toes — just kidding). There's also the emotional baggage afterward. Ben's description: ''It's a total mind f---.'' That said, he did enjoy getting that cash payment — even though he was gunning for something else.

I'm not sure exactly why Hannah didn't have sex with Ben when he propositioned her during their foursome: Was it because she didn't want to at all, or because she just didn't want to as Belle? Every time it becomes absolutely clear to me that they are in love — like when she said, ''I never felt shit when we were together. Even if I looked crap or felt fat, it didn't matter. You know how to make people feel good'' — it becomes equally apparent that maybe she doesn't actually want to be with him. Hence, she isn't. Remember, this is a girl who does whatever she wishes when she wishes. Make sense?

What also confused me a bit is why Hannah so blatantly broke her ''keep work and life separate'' rule by letting her best friend go on a job with her (even if Ben was a much better option than Mr. Twelve Inch With a Milk Mustache). Bringing him along seemed like the ultimate no-no, but it wasn't. Was it because she really wanted to get nasty with him? Because she wanted him to see how good she is at her profession? Or because she wanted him to realize that what she does isn't half bad, that she helps people and makes them happy? That couple seemed very satisfied and still totally in love at the end. (After all, they basically only screwed each other.) Funny though: For Ben's first job he got an attractive couple with a fortysomething wife whose butt you could bounce a dime off of. I doubt that happens to every first-time gigolo.

NEXT: Sleeping with your best man