'Big Brother': Tool Time

Which brings us to the fighting. Oh, the fighting! When the season began, had I been asked who would be at the center of most of the hollering, I never would have pegged Jerry. But man, can that guy get into it! I kind of admire his cool in the midst of all of it. He's at a definite disadvantage, being that much older than everyone else, but he takes crap from no man or woman. When Memphis freaked out about being called a womanizer by Jerry, Jerry just sat there, hands folded behind his head, not even flinching as Memphis came at him, yelling, ''Are you out of your mind, old man?'' Do you get the sense that Jerry is like one of those old kung fu masters from the movies who look feeble but then make fast work of the sniggering upstarts? What kind of martial-art mysteries is Jerry hiding in his tube socks?

Memphis also called out Jerry for grabbing at a woman's [BLEEP], a reference I assume was to Jerry's (and everyone else's) testing of April's natural boobs on the first day. It did make me wonder, though: Does the military gear stay on or come off when you're grabbing a younger woman's breasts? I don't know if a Semper Feel is considered a disgrace or a credit to the Corps.

Jerry also took on Michelle when she later tried to stir up discontent, telling everyone he was trying to save Angie in place of Jessie. Jerry would not take such insubordination, swearing at her and shaking a mighty pepper mill. ''All four of ya, let's get it on!'' he croaked at her and her compatriots. I don't know why I'm surprised; the man was in the Korean War. When you've been in armed combat, there's really no reason to be afraid of a mixologist and someone who is professionally Portuguese.

What's that you say? It's been four paragraphs since I've crapped on Jessie? Well, I'm overdue! But where to start? We've covered his arrogance before, I know, but one statement of his caught my ear: Before the power-of-veto competition, he said, ''I could care less who plays in this competition. You could put up three people versus me, there's nobody that I feel really threatened physically or mentally with.'' It's the ''mentally'' part that stopped me cold. He is constantly talking about how everyone underestimates his massive brain power because of his muscles, and yet his command of the English language has clearly not been doing much heavy lifting. Mere moments after his ''mentally'' statement, he said, ''I'm gonna fight with everything from toe to head of me.'' Does he just throw all his words up in the air and then say them in the order that they fall on the ground?

NEXT: The wrong goodbye