'Secret Diary of a Call Girl' recap: Happy ending
Eight episodes in, one season finale down, and what has Call Girl's golden-hearted hooker Hannah learned? That ''in London you can keep secrets, you can be anonymous, you can be whomever you want. As long as one person knows you entirely and loves you still, it's the best place in the world.'' That Ben doesn't want to marry her, but he won't wed Vanessa either. And that he rightly thinks the only other living thing she can take care of is a cactus. (The symbolism here is obvious.) That she doesn't enjoy having girl friends or being a paid wife. That she can't spend any time alone. That she likes her appointments short (no more extended bookings in Scotland). That her mother doesn't get her, but her father is proud of her front as a nighttime legal secretary. (She has ''five people working under her,'' hardy har har). That she should never wear a blue dress with black stockings, silver pumps, and huge hoop earrings. And that high-priced courtesans are snobby, dull, mistreated women who guzzle predictable drinks (tea and wine vs. Hannah's fluorescent cocktails). They live in classy but dreary apartments (compare Hannah's colorful pad with Della's monochrome flat) and pride themselves on the most ridiculous things, like knowing how to play golf, say thank you, and ski. (If only I could golf, I'd be perfect!) In Della's words, ''We're not just about servicing the client, if you will. We're genuine companions. What you may call lifestyle sponsors.'' Hannah's replay? ''But it's still f---ing in the end, right?'' You got it.
As much as Hannah desired their money at the beginning of last night's episode, by the end she knew she didn't want their lives. And though I agreed with her decision, I wasn't too keen on the psychology behind it. It's becoming increasingly clear that Hannah does what Hannah wants, and what Hannah wants is to be special. Just think about it: Hannah was over the moon when Mitch, the rich African-American john with a ''great butt,'' nominated her to Diamond International Courtesans (dumbest company name ever, by the way). It meant she was at the top of her game. Then he gave her that fab apartment overlooking Westminster, meaning she was the top of his game as well. But then he took her to Scotland, where his work superseded their professional-girlfriend arrangement. (Um, never toss away a working person's phone when he's trying to answer it. Even I would have been mad, and I thought he was a jerk.) He yelled at her, she left. She found out that he had a whore in every city, and she quit Diamond International. Hannah couldn't take not being number one or the only one. (Hmmm...sound like what happened with Ash and Naomi?)
NEXT: HONEYMOON KILLER How Hannah got rid of Vanessa