First off, big thanks to PopWatch maestro Gary Susman for taking over last week while I was under the gun of a looming deadline and pulling all-nighters left and right. Were it not for him, I wouldn't have gotten my three hours of sleep last Monday, and EW might not have received its feature on time. So yay for Gary, from all of us here at Weeds Watch.
It's hard to believe there are only two episodes left in the season but, as has been building for some time now, it looks like consequences are finally rearing their ugly heads and Nancy, for one, is having an especially hard time coping. We started out with not your most pleasant of breakfast conversation. While Shane and his groupies talked Pop Tarts, Nancy had other things on her mind — namely, the so-called science project of the night before. It was more like an experiment, flubbed Harmony. "Biology? Fascinating. Reproduction? Disease?" Nancy hammered. "I assume the presentation you three are working on will deal with those things in addition to volcanoes and wind?" Mom had to spell it out, and the girls took off in due haste, but Shane, who in the little time since the fam moved to Ren Mar, seems to have grown by leap years, couldn’t help but bark back, "Where were you last night?" Soon after that, Nancy completely lost her s---. She cursed Judah and forbade Shane from seeing "either of those scary little sluts again." His retort stung down to the core: "Quit pretending to be a mom!" and she spanked him in response. At a loss, Nancy turned to her oldest son, trying to make sense of why this was happening to her. "You had boys," said Silas matter-of-factly.
Dealing with her own set of boy problems, Maria woke up at Doug's place a bit disoriented from the long trip getting there. "You passed out in the van, and I carried you up, like a bride," Doug told his as-yet-unrequited love. Not surprisingly, his less-than-tactful attempt at some introductory nookie did not sit well with her. "We do not know each other," Maria said as Doug dropped trou. "I am not some piruja [Spanish for "hooker"]; you must win my affection." Which meant not even a boob on day one of this honeymoon.
Also settling in to her new home — at rehab — Celia and her group-therapy mates were given a road map of their near future: "All the pain will hit you at once," the counselor said. "It will be excruciating. You're all about to go to hell." Recovering addict Barry, played by Bob Odenkirk (who, as viewers of Doug Benson's hilarious documentary Super High Me would know, is not down with the weed), welcomed the chance.
NEXT: A new breed of cheeseheads
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