'The Hills': Party Politics

STEPH AND NONSENSE Lauren had to put up with the usual Pratt drama

All About

The Hills

Get the latest photos, news, and more

Another week, another birthday party on The Hills. Last night's episode began with Lauren and Stephanie discussing the latter's birthday fiesta. Lauren was excited to attend but asked Stephanie if Speidi would be there, too. Stephanie claimed she had no idea but acted as if she preferred they didn't because she wanted a fun night, and ''drama follows them.'' Then Lauren pulled out one of those quotes that sound like they were whispered into her ear by a producer will probably reverberate throughout this entire season. (Remember ''I want to forgive you, and I want to forget you''? Of course you do.) ''I mean, I don't know if it follows as much as they chase it.'' So true, young grasshopper. But doesn't that kind of apply to everyone on The Hills (well, minus Whitney)?

Take Lauren, for example. Did she honestly believe that she was going to show up to Stephanie's birthday party and not have some kind of encounter with Spencer? I get that she expected She-Pratt to warn her if Speidi were planning on making an appearance — so that Lauren could avoid the awkwardness — but at the same time, it's not Stephanie's job to accommodate everyone's guest-list preferences. Plus, there's no way in hell the producers were going to pass up the opportunity to get Lauren and her nemeses within five feet of each other. It's reality-show gold.

''I think that a lot of times,'' Lauren said to Lo, ''I trust people I shouldn't, and it turns out right, and it makes me feel a little better about it.'' That philosophy, of course, blew up in Lauren's face later on at Boulevard 3 when Speidi ''rolled up'' on Stephanie's celebration, causing about 20 oh, no, he didn't eye rolls from Lauren, Lo, Brody, and probably even the bartender. ''Look, I don't want drama, I just want to go have fun and party, and all this is is drama,'' Brody stated when Stephanie asked why he was so eager to ditch the party. Doug, whose title had been momentarily upgraded to ''Lauren's date,'' opted to stay back with Lauren.

(By the way, how the heck is Doug already so chummy with Brody and Frankie? Was that a clause in his contract — ''must be friends with the male sidekicks on the show''? Or is this the way MTV plans to spin off Brody's reality show Bromance? I can see the advertising now: ''You too can be cool like Doug and roll with Brody's crew.'' I mean, Doug's already got his own website, as TV Watcher Ellie pointed out to us last week (thanks!), so there has to be some ulterior motive going on here.)

At Boulevard 3, Spencer said, ''Can you get these obnoxious chicks away?'' which pushed Lauren and her crew to leave. Ignoring his jabs, Stephanie turned to Spencer and Heidi and told them how surprised she was to see them. She sounded pretty sincere when she said it, and the next day, when Spencer (in typical fashion) confronted her about what had gone down, she stood her ground. ''It's like trying to tell Iran and Israel to get along,'' Spencer said. (Uh, should we be impressed that he actually made a semi-intelligent comment? Or should we be perturbed that he compared relationships on a reality show to real problems in the world?) ''I think you're more rash and I'm more rational,'' Stephanie responded. ''Why should I stop being friends with [Lauren] if we've been getting along?'' From this point, Beavis threw out the brother card at least a dozen times, ending the attack by telling his beloved sister that he wants nothing to do with her life so long as Lauren is in it. Am I experiencing déjà vu or have we heard them have this same conversation before? Bottom line: Spencer has nothing better to do with himself than pointlessly argue with whoever is around him who will listen, and Stephanie is certainly not going to voluntarily get rid of Lauren anytime soon if she plans to stay relevant on the show.

NEXT: The dark hairs vs. the light hairs