''This Thursday, Barack Obama is going to give his acceptance speech — and
reportedly it will include performances by Bon Jovi and Bruce
Springsteen. And they say Obama's not black enough!''
—Conan O'Brien on Late Night
''It's official: The Jonas Brothers are now more popular than the
Beatles...among girls who have never heard of the Beatles.''
—Joel McHale on The Soup
''For the love of God, will someone please punch me in the face so I can
see some stars?''
—Cloris Leachman, talking about the dais of comics, on The Comedy
Central Roast of Bob Saget
''My mom and dad don't actually live with me, but I don't think they know
that. I keep them around because old people are a really good source of
prescription medication.''
—Margaret Cho on The Cho Show
For daily video recaps of all the best Sound Bites, go to ew.com/soundbites
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