Samurai Girl
ABC Family / Fri.-Sun. / 8-10PM
NEW This six-hour revenge tale stars Jamie Chung (Greek) as a Japanese girl
whose family gets involved with the yakuza. So it's kinda like a
family-friendly version of Kill Bill, but not really. (Sept. 5-7)
Deal or No Deal
Syndication / Mon.-Fri.
Howie heads to syndication in this half-hour version of the prime-time
smash. If leggy models aren't your thing, perhaps free money is: One
viewer will win $10K each week. (Sept. 8, check local listings)
The Rachel Zoe Project
Bravo / Tue. / 11PM-Midnight
NEW Stylist-to-the-stars Rachel Zoe proves that when a network runs out of
celebrities to build reality shows around, it will seek out the next
best thing. (Sept. 9)
Gym Teacher: The Movie
Nickelodeon / Fri. / 8-10PM
NEW Nickelodeon is going all out for this TV movie: Not only did they lure
Chris Meloni (as a disgraced Olympian-turned-gym teacher) and Amy
Sedaris (as a kooky principal), but they also snared Bruce Jenner for a
cameo. (Sept. 12)
Trading Spaces
TLC / Sat. / 10-11PM
Paige Davis uses her powers of perk to help folks fix not only their
homes but their relationships as well. (Sept. 20)
Trivial Pursuit: America Plays
Syndicated / Mon.-Fri.
NEW A frequent trivia question answer himself, Christopher ''Peter Brady''
Knight hosts this interactive TV take on the classic board game. (Sept.
22, check local listings)
The Suite Life on Deck
Disney / Fri. / 8-8:30PM
NEW What happens when you take The Suite Life of Zack & Cody and add water?
You get Disney's latest tween comedy, starring Dylan and Cole Sprouse,
and a luxury liner. (Sept. 26)
Little Britain USA
HBO / Sun. / 10:30-11PM
NEW
U.K. stars Matt Lucas and David Walliams bring their enormously
popular — and severely twisted — sketch comedy series across the pond.
(Sept. 28)
South Park
Comedy Central / Wed. / 10-11PM
After last spring's ingenious Die Hard parody set in a ''living museum,''
we're wondering how Trey Parker and Matt Stone will top themselves in
the second half of season 12 — but we're sure they'll find a way. (Oct. 8)
The Tony Rock Project
MynetworkTV
Wed. / 9-9:30PM
NEW
Chris Rock's younger brother Tony debuts his own brand of taboo-busting
shenanigans, including man-in-the-street interviews and hidden-camera
segments. Can Everybody Hates Tony be far behind? (Oct. 8)
Testees
FX / Thurs. / 10:30-11PM
NEW
Comedian/masochist Kenny Hotz (of Kenny vs. Spenny fame) brings viewers
this sitcom about two schlubs (Steve Markle and Jeff Kassel) who make
their living as medical test subjects. Hilarity — and grotesque side
effects — ensue. (Oct. 9)
Saturday Night Live Weekend Update Thursday
NBC / Thurs. / 9:30-10PM
NEW
The presidential election has left the SNL writers bursting with so many
jokes, they're forced to expand ''Weekend Update'' to the workweek with
three prime-time specials. (Oct. 9, 16, and 23)
LA Ink
TLC / Thurs. / 10-11PM
Tattoo artist extraordinaire Kat Von D is back, with a new boyfriend
(Mötley Crüe's Nikki Sixx) and a new makeup line. (Oct. 9)
Futurama: The Beast With a Billion Backs
Comedy Central / Sun. / 8-10PM
NEW
Bender and his crew tangle with a randy alien (voiced by David Cross)
who's gone mating-crazy in the TV debut of this DVD movie. (Oct. 12)
Legend of the Seeker
Syndicated / Sat.
NEW Nostalgic for those charmingly cheesy syndicated series shot in New
Zealand? You're in luck: Sam Raimi and Rob Tapert (Hercules: The
Legendary Journeys, Xena: Warrior Princess) are back with this fantasy
epic starring wizards, fearsome warriors, and evil tyrants. (Nov. 1,
check local listings)
Law & Order: Criminal Intent
USA / Thurs. / 10-11PM
Out: Chris Noth. In: Jeff Goldblum. Still there, and still odd: Vincent
D'Onofrio. (Nov. 6)
Project Runway
Lifetime
While teams of reality TV scientists have been working around the clock,
no one has yet uncovered what happens when you mix Bravo's hippest show
with Lifetime Television. Fortunately, no Tim Gunns were harmed in the
making of this hybrid. (Fall TBA)
Paris Hilton's My New BFF
MTV / Tue. / 10-11PM
NEW The world's most inexplicably famous woman chooses her new best friend
the only way she knows how: through a reality competition. Look for
''tests of loyalty, endurance, and girl politics,'' which we're guessing
is something like boy politics — only not as good at math. (Sept. 30)
Star Wars: Clone Wars
Cartoon Network / Fri. / 9-9:30PM
NEW Continue on the small screen, George Lucas' animated Jedi adventures
will. Characters not in the Clone Wars movie (like General Grievous,
battling Ahsoka, above), appear, they shall. Attempt pathetic
backward-talking Yoda impersonations, we must no longer. Annoyed, you
now are. (Oct. 3)
