TV Recap

'Big Brother': Old-School

Though he's the only one left who's not in an alliance, Jerry wins HOH and ends up in the final four—but that's about the only thing that works out for him this week

SENIOR TRIP Jerry took an unplanned dip in the pool — and continued his run as the odd man out.
SENIOR TRIP Jerry took an unplanned dip in the pool — and continued his run as the odd man out.

'Big Brother' recap: Senior moments

In China, senior citizens are highly respected, even revered. So with that in mind, here's an SAT analogy: Up is to down as China is to Big Brother. Seriously, have the majority of the BB production staff had really bad experiences with their grandparents? Because they are taking all their barely concealed rage out on poor Jerry.

Through our retired Marine, what have we learned about senior citizens this week through BB? That they are boring, gullible, prone to falling into swimming pools, and — judging by the large Ziploc of pills that Jerry was clutching like a security blanket — highly medicated. Jeez, why not just go the whole hog and hire an 80-year-old to parade through the house in a pair of Depends while constantly pointing out things that, in his day, used to cost a nickel?

Really, you gotta feel for the guy. First off, he's trapped in a house with four people who enjoy excluding him from their powwows, so all he can do is putter around the house talking to himself. The word "putter" is a verb only used in relation to old people (much like the adjective "jolly" only applies to overweight people), so even if he wanted to fight the stereotype of a senior citizen, he has been forced into a position where he can't avoid puttering. Don't even try to buck the cliché, Jerry, you'll putter and you'll like it! It's like putting a Polish person into the house, and making him compete in nothing but lightbulb-screwing competitions.

This week they did all they could to establish him as the Dullard. On Tuesday we saw him boring Renny to death, and she actually said, "Look at the time," to get away. I didn't think that exit strategy existed as anything but a sarcastic joke, but it turns out in New Orleans it's a valid escape hatch. I wonder if, in the Big Easy, when people say, "I gotta see a man about a horse," they actually do have to see a man about a horse.

But it's not enough for Jerry to be shown boring people. The producers have to underline the fact by adding the same music you'd use to score a mildly retarded cartoon elephant. It's a "waa, waa, waa, womp" tune that summon visions of a fat kid with his hand stuck in a candy jar. This was used to especially cruel effect when Jerry had everyone up to his HOH room and treated them to the parable of Hissy the Snake. There's no quicker TV-edit shorthand to portray someone as a blowhard than to chop up their story to make it seem like it's been going on for days. I'm surprised they didn't intercut shots of an old man's beard growing eight inches, and trees growing leaves that then change color and fall off. Look, it probably was a dull story: I can imagine very few tales about a character named Hissy that wouldn't be dull, unless it was the tale of Hissy the Serial Killing Porn Star. And as Memphis said, "I've got to listen to another story of Jerry's. Which is more than likely not going to be exciting, or make any sense, or be funny." But my heart goes out to the guy: He's in a situation where he can't possibly be embraced by his houseguests, so why kick him when he's down? Especially when he falls down so well on his own.

NEXT: Jerry's sinking feeling

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