TV Recap

'Project Runway': Written in the Stars

Hitting the mark on the avant-garde zodiac challenge proved impossible for most of the designers, which was a bad thing on a night when two would go home

CONFIDENCE WOMAN Judge-sassing Kenley certainly didn't expect to end up in the bottom four
CONFIDENCE WOMAN Judge-sassing Kenley certainly didn't expect to end up in the bottom four

'Project Runway' recap: Bad signs

Good God was last night's episode a hot, steaming mess. From the incessant bickering, to the talking back to the judges, to the appalling pieces of sartorial hideousness that were barfed onto the runway — never before has an episode so plainly underscored the inferiority of this season's Project Runway cast compared to previous contestants. Blayne's latest foray into bulbous idiocy might have been pooping fabric, but the majority of the other designs were crapping cluelessness.

I wasn't sure what to think when Heidi announced that the designers would team up with season 5 bootees to create an avant-garde ensemble. Didn't last cycle's designers already do the avant-garde thing — and with terrific results, too? Then, when Tim specified that the teams would draw inspiration from the zodiac, I had a sinking feeling that this challenge was gonna blow. Basing designs on astrological signs is sufficiently out there as a concept. Why bog it down with this avant-garde business? And the producers didn't even stop there. They had to add in a party at a planetarium!

As many of you have commented throughout this season, it's become increasingly easy to decipher from an episode's editing who's going home — or at least who's in trouble. Anyone who has even the slightest belief in karma must have sensed that Terri was gonna get some payback. Minutes after she sing-songed about Stella's auf'ing ("The witch is gone!" "Peace out, Stella!"), the bad karma reared its head when she got paired with her arch-nemesis, Keith. Terri complained that Keith's skill was not on par with hers, that he refused to take her direction, and that he could offer her nothing, except maybe to "count the pins that fall on the floor." And while his whining about being kicked off the show made me scream, "Dude, move on already!" I did detect a ring of truth in his assessment that Terri is "not the easiest person to work with." I can't condone a quitter, but I also can't blame the guy for taking a siesta-refuge in the break room.

The worst part of all this back-and-forth nastiness was that Terri's design was the pits: a cheap costume that looked like a "voodoo princess in hell." After Christian Siriano — in yet another twist, various New York-based "alumni" played guest judges — questioned the outfit's ginormous fur collar, Terri replaced it with a shiny red and orange shawl thingie. But to me, that was no improvement. In truth, Terri's dress could have come straight from the freaky year-round Halloween store that's right near my old Fourth Avenue apartment. All that was missing was a smoking cauldron and a grinning skull.

NEXT: Unbalanced mess

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