'Big Brother': Renegade Kids

Before the final HOH competition, we took a trip to the jury house. Frankly, at this point I'm more interested in seeing life there, now that all the drama has been sucked out of the game house. (Incidentally, why is Julie still touting the live feeds on CBS.com and Showtime's Big Brother After Dark? Who at this point is moved to watch five straight days of two guys puttering around the house? Will this become the hot porn site for people with boredom fetishes?)

I'm always frustrated with the jury-house segments, though, because they're so staged. BB contestants start to act crazy because they forget the cameras are there. But since there are no cameras regularly in the jury house, when they do arrive for these short segments, everyone seems very stiff. I want to see April and Ollie drop their defenses, so we can get a clear view of them realizing they actually have nothing in common.

I did enjoy seeing Michelle and April be unable to force smiles when Keesha arrived. And it was an added bonus to watch Michelle so smugly declare that she was going to blow Keesha's mind by telling her that Michelle went on the day trip with Dan, only to deflate when she found out that Keesha already knew. That's our Michelle: always firmly two steps behind everybody else. And, of course, I enjoyed my bonus dose of April's idiocy, like when she said she would vote for Jerry over either Dan or Memphis, because she didn't like the Renegades' cockiness. It worries me to think that people like April can vote in the presidential election, let alone BB: Whenever you see a particularly manipulative and blatantly misleading attack ad on TV, just know that somewhere out there, it is working on April.

For the final HOH, Dan won in the traditional "finish the houseguests' statements" competition. The only thing interesting that came out of it was learning Ollie thought that his biggest mistake was letting his heart get into the game. Considering he barely won any challenges, wasn't his biggest mistake sucking?

Dan quickly dispatched Jerry, who got choked up when conceding to Julie that this was his "last hurrah." Come on, Jerry haters, I'm trying to back you up, but hearing a 75-year-old sadly declare that his last hurrah is now over didn't move you at all? No? All right, I've gotta take my column over to AARP.com. They'll at least concede a tear or two.

Now all we have left is one clip show (hooray?) and then the finale. I can't imagine Memphis winning: At this point, everyone realizes that Dan played him or her, but most of them (even Michelle) don't blame him for it. Even with the crazy grudge voters (April, Jerry, possibly Ollie), I think Dan's got it wrapped up. As for the $25,000 viewer-decided prize, I wonder if there's any way to vote for it to go to Michelle, only to have the producers yank it away from her, giving her a unitard instead? I don't care who has to clean it up; watching her head explode on TV would be delightful.