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We have a winner for Big Brother 10: Dan! And it wasn't even close: He trounced Memphis, 7-0. (You can read Lynette's interview with the winner on PopWatch.) But what other way could it have gone? After all, who could turn the little schmoozer down? While talking to the jury, he went on a charm offensive that never stopped. Even after the jury members cast their votes, he'd toss them a little extra bonus serving of friendship — "Portuguese Princess from Providence!" he chirped to Michelle after she'd turned her key — as if to say, "That one's for free! I love you that much!" If anyone hadn't initially voted for him, they might have turned back, ripped Memphis' key out and swapped it for Dan's, saying, "Aw, I can't vote against you, ya big crazy lug."
But let's begin at the beginning. On Sunday night, we were subjected to a clip show that was a rip-off of my least favorite staple from Survivor: the "farewell to our fallen comrades" parade of false camaraderie. But on Big Brother, instead of walking/paddling great distances and lighting effigies of the game's losers, Dan and Memphis just moved from room to room in the house, setting up old clips. Just how were they prompted to do this? Did Big Brother's voice boom over the loudspeaker: "Memphis, please reflect on Ollie and April mucking about on a bed in the 'Boom Boom Room.'" I was surprised the producers had the restraint not to ask Memphis to play a harp in the corner, all the better to score the fades from Dan's spoken memories into the appropriate clips as he scratches his chin and says, "Golly, I remember Jerry saying, 'Screw you people!' as if it was just yesterday..."
As usual with reality shows, the never-before-seen footage we were promised turned out to have been originally omitted for good reason. Amidst the greatest hits — Keesha's birthday party/never-ending screaming match; Ollie and April's insufferable "I will live with you!" pool pillow talk — we got an extended remix of Brian's puppet show, Jerry scrubbing his dentures, and Renny doing impressions of everyone. The only worthwhile thing in this episode was that it made me reflect on how different my opinion of Renny is now versus what it was after the first week of shows. Watching the early clip of her quacking, "It's locked!" in the middle of the night, I remembered how she initially seemed like a garden-variety nutjob who would be gone within weeks. But now, after weeks of seeing her low-key diary-room statements, and other occasional mellow moments, I find her kind of endearing...just as long as she's not screaming about matching socks.
One last thing on the contrived clip show: I loved how at the end, the two guys stood up, proclaimed, "May the best Renegade win," and then walked in different directions as the show ended. It was meant to be a dramatic, pre-fight moment, like Ivan Drago telling Rocky, "I will break you." But in that movie, the two men went on to beat the crap out of each other. Here, Dan and Memphis turned around, walked away, and then found themselves alone on opposite ends of an incredibly dull house. It makes it a far less dramatic showdown when you picture Dan slinking back out of the bathroom area and saying, "So...uh...Memphis, wanna play Rummikub?"
NEXT: Dan's charm offensive
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