TV Article

Sound Bites

TV's funniest lines from Sept 26 to Oct 2

''You need a specialist to remove those kind of warts. Preferably one with experience spelunking.''
—House (Hugh Laurie), messing with Dr. Cuddy (Lisa Edelstein), on House

''I never do what I don't want to do, except on the second date — and that's just good manners.''
—Christine Campbell (Julia Louis-Dreyfus) on The New Adventures of Old Christine

''May I hold your dog while you cry?''
—The socially stellar Brennan (Emily Deschanel), to a woman whose veterinarian ex was just found dead, on Bones

''I was high-fiving 15-year-old me through the space-time continuum. 'We did it! We did it, you masturbating little bastard!'''
—Ted (Josh Radnor), after learning that his fiancée is also a lover of Star Wars, on How I Met Your Mother

''Mind your cleavage. It's putting me off a bit.''
—Len Goodman, to the busty Cloris Leachman, on Dancing With the Stars

For daily video recaps of all the best Sound Bites, go to

Originally posted Sep 26, 2008 Published in issue #1014 Oct 03, 2008 Order article reprints

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