It wouldn't take long to find out, as the teams were thrown into their first challenge, which was a steep climb with a bag of corn and two individual immunities at stake. Let me tell you my favorite part about this challenge — watching Probst book it up the hill. Dude ran up there so fast I thought Howie Mandel was chasing him with a great Emmy hosting idea. (Oh, I kid 'cause I love. Seriously though, congrats to Jeff for winning the reality hosting Emmy. We all knew he deserved it. The fact that the Academy voters did as well is very cool.) So Fang had their asses handed to them. Matt was forced to push Gillian up by her booty, and even the world champion track star struggled mightily, later morphing into Mars Blackmon and saying that it must be the shoes. Back at camp, Gillian let the rest of her Fangmates know that "bukali" was the African word for fierce. Cool. Say, Gillian, what's the African word for "sorry-ass" losers? Do they have a word for that? (Again, I kid 'cause I love. Only this time, without the love.) Perhaps worried that the bukali thing wasn't going to fire up the tribe as she had hoped, Gillian thought she could unite everyone the good ol' fashioned way — with elephant dung! She asked people to bring her some. When they failed to do that, like some sort of elephant dung addict, she went out and scored her own. She picked it up with her bare hands. She went all exhibitionist on us, asking "You want to see my elephant dung?" And then she — and a little piece of vomit is rising up into my throat even as I type this — threatened to eat it!
But that's the biggest difference right there between Kota and Fang. Kota folks are all hot and sexy (c'mon, admit it, even 57-year-old Bob looked pretty good going shirtless on top of the roof), but the people on Fang are all freaks and geeks. You have Ken, who hasn't kissed a girl in 5 years, Randy, the wedding videographer who hates marriage almost as much as he hates getting stitches in his face, and Dan, who seems like a nice guy but, let's face it, isn't the sharpest knife in the drawer. That makes them interesting. But it also makes them not very good at this game.
The most noteworthy thing so far over at Kota (besides when they started feeling each other's boobs for me — seriously, you need to go check that out) was Charlie's crush on Marcus. Marcus informed us that that's not the way he rolls, but then he also went and started telling Charlie that he's part of his "inner circle," which may or may not have been secret code for some sort of kinky sexual reference. The Kota cats warmed up for their next challenge by taking part in a little underwear yoga, while back on Fang, they were too busy getting stitched up, complaining about the cold in Africa, and calling each other "dorks." It was no surprise, then, that they were smoked yet again. Let me tell you, I and other members of the press ran this challenge the day before and even we beat Fang's time. And we positively sucked. (Not to mention got sucked. My boy Gordon from Comcast got a big ol' nasty leech on his leg. He's not the only one to attract a bloodsucker. I know Charlie got a few leeches in the first few days from being in the water. Maybe Marcus helped him remove them. Inner circle, baby!)
NEXT: Idol hands
You Might Also Like
- Photo Gallery Jeff Probst: Best of his blog | Jeff Probst
- Television News Meet the cast of 'Survivor: Gabon' | Dalton Ross
