TV Article

'The Daily Show' Writers Present Election Day Predictions

What to expect come November 4

GOP will keep Florida Democratic voters home by arranging for everyone's grandchildren to actually call.

Ohio voting machines found to be running on same flawed software as Cindy McCain.

You will receive an e-mail from a friend who ''knows people who knows people,'' containing early exit-poll results. They will be spectacularly wrong.

One MSNBC personality will kill and devour another. Despite featuring the first instance of newscaster cannibalism in TV history, MSNBC will still finish third in the ratings.

Fox News' Sean Hannity will either celebrate Republicans' victory by punching Alan Colmes in the face, or console himself after his party's defeat by punching Alan Colmes in the face.

The Daily Show staff confronts the stark reality that their show's stars, George W. Bush and Dick Cheney, are leaving, realizing this must have been what it was like when The X-Files brought in Robert Patrick and Annabeth Gish.

Originally posted Sep 26, 2008 Published in issue #1014 Oct 03, 2008 Order article reprints