Another hubby on the Lane, Orson, was back but he wasn't having as much fun as Tom. And do you really blame him? At first, I thought he was going a tad overboard about the whole Bree-not-using-Hodge-as-her-last-name thing, but I quickly realized it was just setting up for the domestic diva to insult him even further. (As if her telling him ''Hodge sounds like the noise a plunger makes'' wasn't insult enough.) Bree said on radio that there ''was no Mr. Van de Kamp'' and then neglected to even mention Orson. And honestly, in this situation, I can understand the pain for both of them. Orson doesn't want to feel like he's being swept under the rug; Bree doesn't want to let the world know that she's married to an ex-con. But my question is: What would really happen if someone — a particularly enterprising fan or whoever — put two and two together and figured out that Orson was the guy who ran over Mike? I mean, I suppose Bree's pristine image would be tarnished a bit, but wouldn't that just make her all the more real? And isn't that what she's going for? Or, maybe not — real and perfect are definitely not the same things in Bree's demented little world.
But on the Orson front, too, I'm concerned about him and what's coming from him in the next couple of episodes. His reaction when she didn't mention him and then didn't make the pot roast she promised was quite fierce. First, snapping the chopsticks, then forcing a crying Bree to serve up the dinner past midnight. Are we about to see a darker side of Orson? Would all really have been well if she had just made the damn pot roast? Doubt it because something seems to be brewing. Who knows, maybe we're about to see him return to his older, slightly more rageful ways. And that'd be fine by me. Bree will eventually need something to distract her more from the domestic diva stuff, which is only distracting her from the loss of Danielle's son. So much distraction, so little time!
Maybe it's just me, but Susan's story felt like a snoozefest. But then again, I'm always sort of down on Susan. She continues to be annoying! This week, the big drama was that Mike wanted to meet Jackson, the guy who Susan is currently cavorting in bed with. Totally understandable for a meet and greet, but I don't think a beer-and-football-talk night was necessary. Or the follow-up of potato skins, which thankfully never happened. Couldn't Susan just invite Mike over for dinner to meet Jackson? By the end of this tired story line, I realized what the producers really wanted to do: set up the possibility of Mike and Susan rekindling their romance. That bar scene where he said all those nice things to her, and then she kind of softened a bit on the whole Mike-Jackson friendship, seems like the entrée to their renewed romance. And, actually, despite my hatred for Susan, I think I'd be okay with that. Despite slight boredom with him, I never had any beef with Mike.
And honestly, I think Mike's got to make more of a full-time return to the street because I suspect — as I'm sure many of you TV Watchers do, too — that Mike may be the person the increasingly creepy Dave Williams has it out for. Maybe that mother and baby who were killed in the Mike-Susan car wreck were Dave's family? Still, my instincts also tell me that it couldn't just be that easy. Desperate is famous for its twists and mysteries, so it couldn't be that simple, right? Doubtful.
NEXT: Here, kitty, kitty
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