The teams madly paged through the morning's newspaper, searching for an ad that directed them to a local hat store. I don't know much about Bolivia: Is it particularly renowned for its silly hats, or is that just a new tack their tourism board is trying out? ("We need a hook, boys, because 'Come for the scenery, stay for the oxygen tanks!' isn't working. What's that, Hector? Make everyone wear a hat like Mr. Peanut, only three sizes smaller than their own heads? Well, it beats hypoxia, let's try it!")
The frat guys were the first to find the newspaper clue, and they took off. Earlier in the show, while discussing their lack of athleticism (they realized that lifting weights does not an athlete make), Adam said, "I'm happy with myself. I think I look pretty sexy." But it was delivered without any of the identifying intonations of knowing self-parody. Boy, I really wanted it to turn out that Adam and Dan are doing shtick and are actually trying to satirize frat guys, but it's just not gonna happen. If you check out the Amazing Race deleted scenes from last week on CBS.com, there's an incredibly awkward moment at the mat where Phil tries to hook up the frat guys with the Southern Belles, and a nervous Andrew and Dan can barely spit out anything but "Girls pretty." I haven't seen anyone with this little game since the last Red Sox rainout.
The Detour choices this week were "Musical March" or "Bumpy Ride." For "Musical March" you had to assemble a marching band and then lead them to get the next clue. The frat guys did this in their usual tense, joyless manner. Not even Dan's refusal to take off his ridiculous bowler hat could inject any whimsy into their demeanors. And their lugubriousness seemed to spread into their band; the musicians plodded slowly behind, while the happy-go-lucky Belles, with their inane clapping and cheering, quickly caught up to and then passed the fratters. Jeez, Andrew and Dan could depress K.C. and the Sunshine Band.
"Bumpy Ride" involved coasting down cobblestone streets on pedal-less bikes that looked like they were carved out of tree trunks. And just in case they didn't look silly enough, the racers were made to wear feathered helmets and gloves. You know the old maxim that you should always wear clean underwear in case you get in an accident? It's even more important not to wear feathered helmets and gloves, but that seems too obvious for anyone to make into an adage.
I thought Christy would prove this rule in her mighty wipeout, where she bloodied her hand and it looked like she cracked her head against a wall. But nothing short of decapitation could stop her from continuing the race: Her bike was powered by gravity and hatred for Starr. Later, she would find out that Starr, when passing Aja, asked her and Ty to U-Turn the divorcees. It was a strange and pointless request by Starr: Why make trouble at this point, especially with Aja and Ty, a team that you have no great allegiance with? Now I don't know which team to root for in this standoff: I'm gonna go ahead and root for neither of them.
NEXT: Wrestlemania
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