· Elisabeth Moss delivers an Emmy-worthy I-am-woman speech in the Mad Men finale. Somewhere, Helen Reddy is smiling
· A crappy economy, a pivotal election, and the return of AC/DC. Is it us, or did 1980 just crawl through the back door?
· David Letterman finally says to Lauren Conrad what everyone's been thinking: ''Maybe you're the problem.''
· The trailer for Clint Eastwood's Gran Torino. Or as it should be called: You Damn Whippersnappers Get the Hell Offa My Lawn!
· Dear Facebook friends: For the umpteenth time, please stop inviting us to grow a lil green patch
· Why is Desperate Housewives wasting Dana Delany's cunning Catherine the Great this season?
· Survivor's Ace: such a devious, dastardly rat that even Jeff Probst thinks the British accent is a put-on
· Need to feel better about yourself? You're in luck. Celebrity Rehab is back on the air!
NOT EVEN CLOSE
· 90210 starlet AnnaLynne McCord dresses up as Showgirls' Nomi Malone for Halloween
· Beyoncé's icredibly irritating request that fans now call her ''Sasha Fierce''
· Florence Henderson picks a fight with Cloris Leachman. Geritol and Metamucil line up as sponsors for upcoming pay-per-view cage match