'America's Next Top Model': Field of Dreams

That Marjorie finally let go of her nerves and had fun at the commercial audition made the shutdown that occurred later at the photo shoot and panel all the more upsetting. I'm happy that her downfall wasn't blamed on her drunken interlude with her friend named wine — I know him, too! — and the pizza-bearing, alcohol-in-a-backpack-toting boys who ferried the girls around on their go-sees. I have only this to say: I'm sure those guys loved their time modeling high heels, playing Charades, watching Sam's sleight-of-hand magic tricks, and wrestling with McKey (okay, that guy might've had a good time). The best moment was, of course, when Marjorie ended up in her happy place, the bathtub, (fully-clothed at least!) with Bernard, who could be the first man on reality TV to propose there ("C'mon, let's get married." Really, Bernard. Really?). I love how Analeigh, a good, sober friend, thought the other boys urged her away from the sudsy duo because they didn't think she should stop a competitor from doing herself in. We all know that they just wanted to give Bernard a moment to seal the deal.

At the photo shoot — crazily-coiffed aliens invade Amsterdam! — Marjorie laughed when Mr. Jay suggested she looked like she was high or drunk. (And so did I.) But it was kinda true. Perhaps she was trying to feel her alien surroundings, and took it a bit too far. If she'd had the kind of props and structures that McKey had on her set, I think she'd have been so much better. (Think back to the bathroom shoot — the girl made that stall work.) McKey's shoot was amazing, and practically orgasmic for Mr. Jay. I watched it multiple times myself and wished we'd seen all of Gumby's shots at panel. (Anyone else disappointed that Tyra chose one of the strong and beautiful but also boring stand-with-chains pics? I wanted one of her leaning back or hanging.) This episode cemented McKey's future as the next Top Model, in my opinion. She's the only one who looks like a model on and off set. If Tyra and Co. really want someone who is bankable, they have to pick her — did you see how the photographer lit up when she arrived? McKey is simply the best makeover in Top Model history. Her darker, shorter hair frames her face perfectly and makes her eyes hypnotic. And somehow, she's learned how to pose like a mofo.

Sam is definitely going into next week's finale as the dark horse. Once Jay had to verbally beat a good photo out of Marjorie, he had no tolerance for poor Sam, who let it show in 53 of 60 frames that her clogs were killing her. Sam used a rake as a crutch (in more ways than one) and finally got her broken doll shot, but the judges have serious doubts. She's a wild card on set and in person. And she can't dress for s---. When in doubt, wear a black shirt, jeans, and heels, girl!

So, who do you think will take the title? Will Analeigh's accessible personality and fluid creativity put her over the top? (Jumping in her field shot did, as Nigel noted at panel, tie in with the windmill motif nicely. She's peaking at the right time.) Will McKey, who's never been in the bottom two, find her joker lips in the pages of Seventeen magazine? (Her eyes burrowing right into Tyra's soul.) Or will Sam, who whimpered like a puppy when she "sucked, really bad" at her shoot, end up crying happy tears?