Following up on last year's best-selling memoir sTORI Telling, actress and reality-show maven Tori Spelling dishes on motherhood in Mommywood (Simon Spotlight Entertainment), out April 14. In this exclusive sneak peek, Spelling writes about the first time she saw baby Liam, now almost 2 years old.
The doctor squeezed the self-heating goo on my belly and started moving the wand around. We already knew that the baby was a boy. Now the doctor was saying calming, non-specific things like, ''Looks good, all good. There's his little foot.'' Actually, who am I kidding? I have no idea what the doctor was saying. Something had me distracted. I was focused on the screen, staring hard at my baby's delicate face. There he was, all perfect. Head, eyes, ears but, well, I didn't want to admit it, even to myself, but something was bothering me. His nose. I kept coming back to it. I was worried, well, was I even allowed to think this? It looked a little, um, large.
I was picking apart my unborn baby. I couldn't help but flash back to the day my mother told me I'd be pretty ''as soon as you have a nose job.'' Mothers are supposed to think their children are gorgeous no matter what. What if I didn't? What if I'd inherited some mutated gene from my mother that caused us to feel nothing but disappointment in our offspring? Oh my God, was I destined to replicate the mistakes my mother made? Do all moms wonder what their children will look like? Or was I living in Mommywood?