The Bullseye

Here's a look at the pop culture news that was right on target this week — and the events that missed the mark

HITS
· The techno dance remix of Christian Bale's rant: Perfect for those nights at the club when someone steps into your strobe light. Hear it for yourself on YouTube
· Saturday Night Live newbie Abby Elliott as Angelina Jolie: ''I could always use a new baby.'' We could always use more of this impersonation
· Cloris Leachman in the post-Super Bowl episode of The Office
· Loving that Dakota Fanning is growing up the way she is
· Here's one for all the moms out there: Medium's back!

NEAR MISSES
· G.I. Joe teaser: It only took 2,009 years to find a project that brings together Sienna Miller and Marlon Wayans
· Octuplet mom hires publicist, fields TV offers. The Gosselins prepare for war
· Wishing that Evan Rachel Wood had grown up a little differently
· Outta the way, pretty boys: Liam Neeson and Kevin James are apparently the most bankable movie stars in America
· Being entirely unsure whether to laugh at Lisa Lampanelli's HBO comedy special or to call the NAACP
· CBS' new arranged-marriage reality show: Only interested if they'll marry us off to George Clooney
· Everything else in the post-Super Bowl episode of The Office

MISSES
· Who cares about Jessica Simpson's weight? Can we talk about that belt for a second?
· Vivica A. Fox appears in a Psychic Friends Network ad. Clearly, she did not have access to this number for much of her career
· No one wants to read your ''25 Random Things About Me'' on Facebook — and if someone says he does, he's lying
· Do laundry, take out garbage, listen to new U2 single, shovel driveway. Sigh...
· PepSuber
· Hey, Suzanne Somers: If we buy the ThighMaster, will you please stop talking about your creepy health regimen?
· Turns out nobody wants to see Renée Zellweger play Reese Witherspoon
· Tough times for us Osmond-phobes: Donny joins Dancing With the Stars, Marie gets a new talk show, and some random offspring wants to be the next American Idol