'American Idol' Recap: Thinning the Herd

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The Wannabes Who Will Haunt My Dreams: Riddle me this? Who in the Idol nation prefers ''characters'' and ''stories'' to memorable musical performances? I mean, these people must exist, and they must attend frequent Fox focus groups, because otherwise I cannot explain how Tatiana Del Toro and Norman Gentle are still with us, sitting at the front of the Hollywood Week rollercoaster and screaming louder than all the infinitely more interesting thrill-seekers sitting behind them.

The ''moving'' of Tatiana from room to room was the only portion of tonight's telecast that was less suspenseful than the repeated and frequent scenes of the four judges sorting photographs on a folding table. (Side note: Every weekend for the last seven months, I've avoided organizing my photo drawer; what makes Fox think I'd want to see this crap on my TV screen?)

But I digress. Here's the thing about Tatiana. She actually has a decent singing voice, as evidenced by her imperfect-but-perfectly-pleasant stab at Whitney Houston's ''I'm Your Baby Tonight.'' (Hey, at least it wasn't ''I Have Nothing.'') And I won't lie: I laughed when Paula, Kara, and Randy entered the holding room and Tatiana cried out, ''Please, God! Please, Paula!'' But just because Tatiana has the ability to briefly entertain with her deluded-chick shtick, it in no way justifies advancing her past a singer of Leneshe Young's potential. I mean, if that's how we're gonna roll this year, then maybe the Best Picture Oscar should go to that ''Dramatic Groundhog'' YouTube clip instead of Slumdog Millionaire or The Reader.

Now as for the guy in the geek glasses, headband, and shiny shirt, down on his knees warbling ''Georgia on My Mind,'' well, it's like hearing a 12-year-old making the rounds at a family function and repeating the same incredibly lame joke again and again and again to anyone who'll listen. At the end of the day, Nick Gentle doesn't have the courage to stand up in front of his peers and sing a song straight, because he knows that he's nowhere in the league of a Kenny Hoffpauer or a Stevie Wright (a pair of 16-year-olds who impressed with their vocals tonight). But he's also not a clever enough comedian to switch up his punch line, let alone his costumes. I defy you to compare Norman's ''Georgia'' to his Hollywood Week ''And I Am Telling You I'm Not Going'' to his initial New York audition and tell me we're not witnessing a case of rapidly diminishing returns. The dude's continued march to the top 36 is all the more disgusting because it meant we won't be hearing (for at least a year) from:

The One Who Got Away: Aw, Leneshe, we hardly knew ye, especially since Fox refused to show you singing at point during Hollywood Week up until your sweet, R[&]B-tinged (if slightly nasal) version of ''Love Song.'' But at least with your classy and mature philosophy — ''you have to be humble and work hard for what you want in life'' — and your tease about auditioning again next year, we have a little something to look forward to, should the Normans and Tatianas of the world derail Idol's eighth season. And even if you don't grace Idol with your presence again, we'll always have your delightful self-penned ditty ''Nati'' to remember. In fact, here's hoping one day we get to hear it on the radio.

What did you think of tonight's show? Better than anything from last week, yes? And while I'm throwing out questions, here are a few more: Who was that amazingly beautiful black woman in room one — and will we ever hear her singing voice? Did Kaylan Loyd get booted simply for chewing gum while singing ''If I Ain't Got You''? Did the judges vote no to India Morrison's ill-fitting black dress and unflattering purple boots even before she began taking the vocal meat cleaver to her song? How come the lovely and talented teenager Jasmine Murray applies her makeup with a trowel? And why the hell wasn't Michael Castro acknowledged during his entire Hell Week tenure until the end of his run?