'Survivor: Tocantins' Recap: One 'Psycho' Premiere

I love each and every one of you. My love knows no limits, no boundaries. There ain’t no mountain high enough, ain’t no valley low enough, ain’t no river wide enough to keep me from you. Okay, you’ll have to forgive me for going a bit overboard, but this season of Survivor: Tocantins is all about first impressions so I figured I would try to make a good one right off the bat so you didn’t vote my TV Watch off the EW.com island and instead go and make friends with the Grey’s Anatomy recap where characters have supposedly taken to having sex with ghosts. (How am I supposed to top ghost sex? That’s impossible! Jeff Probst could start breakdancing at Tribal Council and it still wouldn’t top ghost sex.)

Anyhoo, it’s the start of a new season and before we get to the action, I have a few exciting notes about some Survivor-related stuff here on EW.com. Once again, Jeff Probst will be blogging his little heart out after every episode. They say that imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, and if you want to know how awesome Jeff’s blog is, just check out the other people who have also started celebrity blogging here since he started: Chris Harrison now blogs The Bachelor, the cast of Friday Night Lights is taking turns guest-blogging their incredible drama, and the Amazing Race’s Phil Keoghan kicks off his host blog on Monday. We’ll also once again be providing you with exclusive deleted scenes after every episode. These are outtakes from the most recent episode that you can’t find anywhere else. You can see this week’s at the end of the column, or, if you’re super impatient, you can click here and get your fix.

Finally, a lot of you out there wrote on the comment boards last season that you really missed Survivor Talk, the EW.com video show that Josh Wolk and I co-hosted. This made me very happy seeing as how most of those episodes involved me physically or emotionally torturing Josh somehow, and it was nice to know that you all enjoyed that as much as I did. In any event, it’s back — and better than ever! Well, I don’t know about better, but it will be faster — as least faster getting to you. Instead of going up on Mondays, Survivor Talk will now be posted on Friday afternoons, so make sure to check back for that. Josh and I will be interviewing the most recent cast-off, and for the first five weeks, we’ll also be having some very special former Survivors on as guests — tune in to see who.

Okay, enough housecleaning. Now let’s talk about the premiere of a new Survivor season that I still cannot pronounce, and the huge out-of-the-box twist of transporting the entire show back to the year 1988! I know, I know, it was a bit confusing, and I didn’t figure it out myself at first either, but where else could they have picked up a dude with a sweet hairdo like Coach? Many have tried and failed to properly wed the hairstyles of action hero Steven Seagal and Keyboardist #2 from Animotion, but leave it to the soccer rocker himself to finally get the combo down cold. So after extracting Coach from the set of Under Siege 2, the show jumped back to 2009 to the Brazilian highlands where we were warned of heat! Storms! Wildfires! And possible motion sickness! (I've been on a few of those bumpy Survivor truck rides and they are none too fun.)

NEXT: The game — and the recap — begins!