But not to worry, Ann Marie: I think the judges will be wise enough to bring you back and let you have a shot at the Wild Card if you don't survive Wednesday night's eliminations. And the other bit of good news? You don't even have to worry about taking home the Worst Dressed trophy, thanks to Jackie Tohn's black lycra leggings, red cumberbund, and black-and-white polka-dot bustier, an outfit that looked like it could've been vomited up by Katy Perry after feasting on imagery from Olivia Newton-John's ''Physical'' video. Yeah, I appreciated Jackie's attempts at bringing some energy to the first live performance of the Idol season, but you know you've set the bar low when your goal is to ''get Ms. Abdul up on her feet.'' Then again, maybe it's good that the rapid-fire pace of ''A Little Less Conversation'' proved to be way beyond Jackie's skill set; I have a tendency to get hypnotized by Idol's raspy-voiced rocker chicks (see Overmyer, Amanda) and it never ends well.
Speaking of severed attachments: Farewell to Stevie Wright and Casey Carlson, whose attempts to rocket toward the upper-echelons of the singing world never got off the launching pad tonight. I was imaging the folks at Idol Mission Control shouting ''Abort! Abort!'' into their mics as Stevie missed her cue to start Taylor Swift's ''You Belong With Me,'' then just staring in abject terror as they realized she'd be failing to hit a single correct note for the next 90 seconds. I think I pretty much summed up the performance with the only two words I managed to scrawl on my notepad during Stevie's performance: ''OH NO!''
And as for Casey Carlson's misbegotten cover of the Police's ''Every Little Thing She Does Is Magic,'' let's just say she's lucky that, as Simon pointed out, the semifinal crowd is so easy to please. Otherwise Neil Patrick Harris and Ted Danson might've been throwing bricks and tomatoes at the stage in an effort to put an end to the weird facial tics, Elaine Benes dance moves, and Jessica Simpson School of Diction phrasing that turned Casey into a very attractive punching bag for Kara, Paula, Randy, and Simon. I mean, you know it's been a rough night when you have to fight back bitter tears after getting called ''exquisitely beautiful'' in front of 25 million people.
Not to pile it on to poor Casey, but earlier tonight, my colleague Dave Karger emailed me with a great suggestion: ''Slezak,'' he said, ''why don't you assign a letter grade to every performance for the rest of the season?'' And so, keeping in mind that previous semifinal rounds have given us Chris Daughtry's ''Hemorrhage,'' Melinda Doolittle's ''My Funny Valentine,'' and Mandisa's ''I'm Every Woman,'' and remembering these contestants all have plenty of room to improve, here's my scorecard for tonight's contenders:
Ricky Braddy: B+
Danny Gokey: B
Alexis Grace: B-
Anoop Desai: B-
Tatiana Del Toro: C+
Ann Marie Boskovich: C
Jackie Tohn: C-
Brent Keith: C-
Michael Sarver: C-
Casey Carlson: D
Stephen Fowler: D-
Stevie Wright: F
What did you think of tonight's show? Which three contestants are you predicting will advance to the top 12 on Wednesday night? How awkward and poorly staged were the Ryan-parent-contestant interviews? How would you rate Kara's first live-show performance? And were you annoyed by the psych-out of having Simon sit on the left, but still making him speak last?
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