'Survivor: Tocantins' Recap: One Tribe Member Gets Licked

'Survivor: Tocantins' Recap: One Tribe Member Gets Licked

I take it all back. Every single word of it. Remember last week when I talked about how I wished Carolina was still around instead of Psycho Sandy because I wasn't a big fan of the obviously mentally unstable middle-aged female contestant (à la Kathy from Micronesia and Wanda from Palau)? Well, I wasn't. Until, that is, one of them started ripping clothes off of a younger contestant and then used the young woman's buff as reins to ride her like horse!!! Wait, no way is three exclamation points enough to do that justice. Allow me to tack on a few more for emphasis. (!!!!!!!!!) Giddyup, cowgirl! That's all it took. 10 paces or no 10 paces, I am now officially on Team Sandy. (Although I am hoping everyone on Team Sandy will be issued some sunglasses to protect our eyes from her blinding over-bleached teeth.) It was perhaps one of the most ridiculous things I have ever seen happen in the middle of a Survivor challenge. Imagine LeBron James picking up an opponent and spinning him on his finger like a basketball in the middle of play. It just doesn't happen! And I can't believe I just compared Pyscho Sandy to LeBron James.

As usual, I'm getting ahead of myself. Let's take it from the top. Speaking of tops, DID I MENTION HOW SANDY USED ERINN'S AS REINS TO RIDE HER LIKE A HORSE?!? Sorry, I couldn't help it. It was too easy. I'll control myself from here on out. Okay, deep breath. Usually, Survivors make it till at least episode 3 before they take to eating bugs, but here we are on day 4 and Joe from Timbira is going all Gymkata on a termite mound, smashing the sucker to bits and picking up whatever survived. Not to be outdone, Spencer then asked to bite the head off a worm.

It was about at this point when Sierra decided to drive me insane by partaking in one of my Survivor pet peeves and telling someone (in this case, Brendan) about the hidden immunity idol at camp. Her stupidity was compounded when she and Brendan began digging for the idol without posting a lookout! Sure enough, who should come strolling over but ''I trust everyone!'' Debra. (I will give credit where credit is due, though: Nice save by Sierra to say they were merely building a massive fire pit, even though that would serve basically no purpose whatsoever and there is no reason for anyone to be digging at camp except to find a HII.)

NEXT: Coach and Candace square off